so i'll grow up, just to have you here with me

Everybody has a price. Today i found out what mine was. It's called the negative value..

You can't buy me if you haven't appeased my soul, but you can definitely make me feel like wanting to put myself up for sale.

i dipped into my savings to pay off some of my bills. i was supposed to have savings this month, but now i don't. it's not a good place.. i know the next few months of my salary's going to go back into my savings.

it also means taking stock of where that money goes. all those little things i overlook when we pay bills together, that little extra i cover when someone's short, those lunches i help pay.. they all add up.

and now that i need to be accountable to my own accounts, i'll need to grow up and do what i need to do, for those days when i have no one else to rely on but myself.

i give a lot, it's just part of my nature.. it's how i value the fleeting tangible in sacrifice for the eternal intangible. but even that has taken its toll on my maturity, and i'm stunted to being who i think i should be.

grow up i must, value my own value more i shall.