wednesday would be fine, thursday on my mind
how apt, but i don't think i'll be in love on friday. it was a good day, production rehearsal in the morning and rock climbing in the afternoon. it was a good climb, thanks to everyone who organised as well as made me feel good about the whole thing. i'm not much of a climber, but the encouragement and reassurement shure helped me overcome my fear of the rockface as well as put more trust in other people. climbing a rockface, is challenging, i kinda hope to get better at it.. it humbles me, because while i might have the physical strength to pull myself up, i have not the agility or flexibility and drive to complete certain climbs. yeah, you just know how much more you have to go with regards to being good at something. so today was kinda coping and dealing with shortcomings, not comparing yourself to others and kinda overcoming fears or at least deriving some sorta satisfaction for yourself. an interesting lesson.
also, after dinner when some of us adjourned to my room to just talk a lil about the 'wankiness' of uni, and struggling artists, grades, responsibilities and finding that balance of the best of everything (which is a paradox because the best can't exactly be found in a compromise). students, academics, driven by grades, or something you believe in. if that something you believe in wasn't the popular opinion, would you be prepared to be marked down? real artists don't compromise, they suffer because they see something that the rest can't, and they will be unpopular, insane and wished by the rest of the world that such atrocities were never introduced in the first place. when all you can believe in is perhaps just God and you.. is it so dangerous?
well, anyhow.. mebbe in the discussion something struck me as to how i would like to do my fiilm styles in the future. as an artist, you kind of need some sorta philosophy or inspiration to drive you. if not it's strictly professional and heartless. mebbe if i wanted to put some soul into my work, i'd wanna keep something real. where the reality of the frame is the same as the reality outside it. when wot i experience, see, hear, feel, touch, smell, taste.. all dosen't just get translated into an illusion of pictures moving. it's not physically feasible, but i would love to engage all an audience's senses, is there a style that allows that? it just dosen't seem possible.. but mebbe there's something to be created from all this. perhaps. friday i'm in love..
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