the light
so i'm typing this from uni, because seriously, i think this new less-internet lifestyle is gonna work out. i feel kinda freed, that i'm not staring at the computer screen so much anymore.

anyhows, just got back from the wallabies vs springboxxe rugby tri-nations match at the subi oval. the wallabies won (yay!), and it was a swell time. i think its a great fever that hits the crowd when you're supporting the home side. anyhow, it got me thinking about when was the last time i supported spore in a sporting competition. it's been awhile, and yeah.. sometimes, no matter how sucky a country can be, there's something about the soil you were born on. then again there's also something about the soil you call home. either/or it's all up to you.

and the stupid tsl forum is pissing me off because people just talk and think they're right all the time (myself included), and shamelessly cant seem to think out of the box (myself included). so i'm just not gonna bother anymore, because its not worth my time. well, if you checked that link out, take i guess who i am. i'm shure my writing style kinda makes itself noticable.

and thanks all for dropping by! the traffic has increased slightly!

cool building thingy

i think this is napo's kawaii skoolgirl pose..

very spiffily cool poster for some label i think. it looks like a marauder from the mechwarrior universe. but i just think mecha is cool.

media-sluttiness is going to get land me the multi-million dollar empire i dream of while drooling on my pillow.

snapped by napkin man in melbourne. note how it says "the dirt empire" where i'm pointing at. and that is a great rockstar pose hey? me thinks naps has a keen eye for graffiti. he doodles like a three-year old though..

since i left you, i found the world so new
interesting lyric by the avalanches which i never noticed before. i like it, i think it speaks volumes of putting the past behind you and moving on. something not many of us do, or do properly. i wont say wot exactly is a life in order, but i think God has blessed my life pretty cooly lately. i just feel like there are things to do, work to be done, something more than just running in circles. has my thinking simplified? well, i work more with God's revelations than thinking about stuff on my own. i mean, i'd intellectualise God's ways and laws, but i think i learnt alot from my sister when she hit my head and said "God is God, can't we just follow?". and yeah, so because of that, many pre-Christians see this as blind faith, in fact Christians sometimes see their own faith as blind. but its not, we just dont look in the right places. the truth is always in the Word, the Word is truth, in the beginning was the Word, but we always look at other things, within ourselves, tryna make sense of the world, the space around us, the way we try to have a reason for everything. Jesus Himself said "I am the way, the truth and the life." it's right there, if you're looking for truth, just look to Jesus. you won't find wot you're looking for, but He'll reveal it to you.

another thing i've learnt thru it all, is that.. even with pre-Christian friends, i've kinda learnt and am still learning to always give that glory back to God. say i wanna explain something that happened, and God's hand was in it.. in the past i'd actually try to deconstruct it to make it understandable to them in a worldly way. but now, it just makes sense to say it the way it happened. i mean, why bother to hide it, or have no faith that these people would not understand wot i'm talking about or share? yeahh, in that sense, i've learnt, and feel that the Christian voice should be heard, louder than the voice of the world.

well, today was spent buying groceries and space savers for the new house with peivn. went to uni to get some of my unit readers too. thank God that he's blessed me with a three-day week. i can work now, so i hope He blesses me with a job that will pay for my mission trip at the end of the year.

shoot from the hip
siyuan's sucha nice guy, that when he says nice things about you, you kinda k now he's not being patronising. and he just listens, to the point where i feel i'm talking too much. a good listener should be able to make a ranting person realise that talk is cheap. -) anyhow, he's quite excited that i got a holga, even more than excited than i am! hahaha, anyhows, he's gotta spiffy SLR, and i've got the trendy holga. this could be a beautiful creative relationship of point and shoot. wots more, we're both doing screen production ii, which is more maverick shooting from two cowboys who don't know anyything about the calibres of their weapons of choice.

and apart from that, today's big event was spent crewing for prema's honours project. it was enlightening and somewhat semi-professional. it's not a big crew, but she's a director who seems to know wot she wants. well, i just do wot im told and help in wotever way i can like buying dinner back, learning by using my eyes and wotever questions i can get answered. great learning experience, and working when the air's just chilly is pretty therapeutic.. just seeing the hard breathes of labour condense in the air around you. something tangible. heh~

tomorrow will be alysium's (i still think we should change the name) first gig at our guitarist, rebecca's twentifirst birthday. we're gonna wing thru most of it, but i reckon it should still be a pretty good set.

pro-whomadeyouking?
well, i was walking around uni where i saw this work of art, and it was about pro-choice. it had this punkish lookin' pregnant teen, and had the words pro-choice written on it. its all in lieu with the whole feminist movement that i think quite a number of women have lost their focus in their quest to educate us about social equity. all men are equal, some are more equal than others.

anyways, i'm more pro-life, which is anti-abortion. some general arguments is that women should be able to decide wot they want to do with their bodies. perhaps a vast majority of teenage pregnancies are also unplanned ones, and are mistakes. in fact, some are even victims of rape, should they then be allowed to have a choice when they are victims themselves.

well, i believe that life exists at conception. and yeah, it says in the Word that God knew us before we were formed in our mother's womb. how then, can a child that wasn't planned for, that was concieved as a mistake be God's chosen one?

well, think about it this way, God knew you were going to make a mistake, and God also knew that you weren't going to. it is ultimately your choice as to wot happens, but God knows either way. He is the alpha and the omega, omnipresent (in all times), he's not bound by a linear timeline. so even if you were unplanned for, God knew you, and he chose you and gave you life. can you then say that your life is your own? and yeah, pro-choice.. which advocates the freedom to choose an abortion over bringing up a child that, you may not have any feelings for. but God can change your heart toward the child, if you let Him work his forgiving power in your life. i'm not saying everything's fine like a fairytale, but perhaps we take too many things upon our lives and we're not willing to let God in on our problems. why do men still rape women? because we're still full of sin, and God saves us from our sin, but dosen't wipe the sin of the world. that would mean wiping mankind out. so everyday that you live your life, Christian or not, it's a second chance. pro-choice, pro-life. once you acknowledge your maker, things are kinda put into perspective.

morning musings
y'know those facial cleansing ads where the lady just splashes water onto her face to get the soap off? it dosen't work that way.

cleaning a slate
sometimes i think i'm deeper than the rest, but i'm really no different from anyone, other than perhaps God has revealed things to me. it shows sometimes. you may not know it, but sometimes i falter and think i have a heads up on you. we're going to rockingham tomorrow to jam after more than two weeks. should be good, see how we deal with the absence from each other.

acquiring a taste
the first thing i set up in my new room was the speaker system. i still think its amazing how music always fills my room. it's a strange mood that's created every time the air vibrates along to the music. play it too loud and often and it becomes noise. keep it hanging, and you've created the balance of frailty that could collapse at any moment. know when to stop, and leave them gasping for me. play the role of the force that keeps it together that prevents something that can disintegrate from disintegrating. hold it in the palm of your hand and crush it when it's time to move on.

knifing around
i'm sitting on my bed typing trash. this is trash in case you havent realised and my eyelids are closing. but i thought you'd like to know. i'm somewhat irritated that the photo-developing lab near my place dosen't sell medium format film. hmmmm, wot else? nothing's really happening, one thought in my brain is "why are men kissing each other?" said in similarity to that scene in starsky and hutch when the chief asks them "why are you touching him?" i'm talking trash for those of you who just joined us, just in case you havent realised it by now. am i not thought provoking enough for you? -) we'll pick up the pieces of the blogroll and stream together a collective conciousness of over-inflated egos.

constantly found
well, i've finally moved out of my old house, i now am at the new place with new housemates, and maybe a new life. who knows? but i think this semester is gonna be a ride. well, i saw my grades, i'm none too pleased, but i brought it upon myself. anyhow, we have to move on, and i'll do better this semester. not gonna have an internet plan so it can help me focus as well as concentrate on other things. here's wot we can hope to look forward to: a gigging band, solo music, blueprints for publications, mission trip to japan in december, a job, more mediums of art and crewing for different projects. we'll see how it goes, i'm depending on God to show me the way and whether wot i'm doing is pleasing in His eyes, but i thank Him for these oppurtunities and ideas He's put in my head.
 
also, kinda got word that my dark star will record their EP without me. it's all cool -) like i've discussed with Thomas, while disappointed that i could not play on it, i am really happy that we have an oppurtunity like this, and i've given the band my blessings to do a good job, and i'm so glad that God's thaught me to be humble as a musician somewhat. while i may miss this oppurtunity, there will be more in the future, and i'm just so happy for the band as a whole that we've achieved this much this far. Do a swell job aight guys?
 
and in other news, i'm helping out as an orientation leader for this semester. it's pretty oh kay, helping who i can, just hope i'm doing it right. gee, this must be a pretty boring post because its so much on life updates.. i'll think of something else when i've stuffed my head back in the box. and return it's warranty slip.

bliss
confounded congratulations to ailing and james on your matrimonial bliss! haha, it just dawned onto me this early in the morning -) may God light your path.

exposed
first word that caught my eye as i noticed the spool of medium-format film standing upright on my desk. oh yes, as part of the treasure hunt in melbourne, i have recently acquired a holga and can probably finally take snaps. something this blog has been  missing out on. it aint digital, so bear with the slowness of it all. but yeah, we were made for exciting times. *heh*
 
so yeah, after 10 days in melbourne, not doing any QT for the 10 nights or days, not going to church on a sunday, i do feel physically distant from God. wot am i talking about? physically distant? frankly, one dim way to describe that feeling, is that the distance feels so real, its as if i'm really in one country and he's in another. its so tangible in the unseen that it can be felt. and it may have come in a culmination at today's intensity meeting, when being physically tired as well, that ironically enough the intensity of worship just wasn't there for me. oooh, i guess i could've been missing out on something standing on the sidelines.
 
but i'm glad that worship's not about how you feel on any given day. we've heard this a thousand times perhaps, but i'll re-iterate it for the sake that mebbe it might make an impact on anyone who reads this. worship is independant of the way we feel. it's not that we're hypocritical, and when we don't feel like worshipping, we just shut off. simply because He is God, and who gave us the authority to decide of God Himself dosen't deserve worship and praise where it is due. in fact, who are we to even worship God? when someone says it is a privillage, its not in the context that we live in a tolerant multicultural society (for those of us who do), it's because He has saved us, and clothed in His righteousness, we are made worthy to enter His courts of praise. can i say that again? made worthy. so yeah, hey... i can't sort my life on my own to make myself worthy to enter the inner courts, the Saviour has redeemed us.
 
worship, it's more than a song.

you're thinking
if you're wondering how melbourne went, it was a great swell experience. we did snowboarding, soaked up the sights and sounds, art exhibitions and soulvakis for supper. met up with ruth, andrew, efrant and jodie whilst we were all there. shopping is great, learnt many things and basically just hung out with a great friend. hopefully naps will upload the piccys soon, there's alot to see -) but you heard it first!

readings
stuart hall, 1993, p362:
the new diasporas which are forming across the world... are obliged to inhabit at least two identities, to speak at least two cultural languages, to negotiate and "translate" between them. In this way, though they are struggling in one sense at the margin of modernity, they are at the leading edge of what is destined to become the truely representative "late-modern" experience. They are the products of the cultures of hybridity. This notion of hybridity is very different from the old internationalist grand narrative, from the superficiality of old style pluralism where no boundaries are crossed, and from the trendy nomadic voyaging of the postmodern or simplistic versions of global homogenisation - one damn thing after another or the differences that dosen't make a difference. These "hybrids" retain strong links to and identifications with the traditions and places of their "origin". But they are without the illusion of any actual "return" to the past. Either they will never, in any literal sense, return or the places to which they return will have been transformed out of all recognition by the remorseless processes of modern transformation. In that sense, there is no going "home" again.

somehow outlining wots been going thru my brainwaves. i guess ive always thought things weren't gonna be the same again, but then to actually live it out. it hits you at different points in time. im glad things are real and not just happy happy do-da-day. and no, i'm not feeling down, i didn't feel down about anything, but yeah.. just experiencing life and all. i'm back from melbourne, check this space and spread the word. in the end, everything is harmless is back, alive kicking and shoving boh-liao (out-of-point) rants in your face (where it hurts).

we're not out!
it's positively freezing! melbourne's the kinda place where its big city life and real mist blowing breaths! oh kay, very swakoo because i feel like a small towne boy who's just seen the big city! but yeah, Sydney didnt swamp me as much as Melbourne did.. it really feels like some neo-tokyo of the animes. the caustic lifeless streets of the city. the doom and gloom of the urban machine. I LOVE IT! well, probably just a phase, but man, the monotony of city life en all, its a very new experience to me. or it feels new.

so naps and i havent been up to much mischief. we're behaving very well, being the reserved chinks that we are. we're just here to do our thing, bring a lil sunshine wherever we go, and in the process scour out some great buys. oh how materialistic my soul has become. naps probably hears to no end the "should i get this?" questions. it's amazing i havent bought myself a dress.

we went to the culture exhibition and moving pictures installations yesterday. that was really awesome, to see so many great wanky minds at work. or rather, wot their great wanky minds have been working on. the one that really got to me was alex davies's"swarm". it records people who enter the room by scanning across, and replays them at different points on this large panoramic screen. while amplifying voices, it creates an air of claustraphobia and horse whispers. because they are images from the camera's memory, you see people from the past standing before you in real time. sometimes your own image appears. it was a highlight of non-continuity causing spatial disorder. that guy is truely a wanker, and i wonder if i even do him justice by talking about his phallic craft. but yeah, we're all artists right? hahaha, by now you should realise that im one of those post modernists who have no real talent in any craft, and so we peel a banana and call it art because it communicates with us. "mmmmmm.. eat banana, banana good". and yes, art is phallic.

an so, the adventure continues, the spoils of war await us at the end of our campaign. we have some good shots, thanking naps and his keen eye. its probably how you've never seen us before. there's a storm coming, do you feel safe?

cross
i'll see you on the otherside!

holding it back in
just reading chapter 222 of naruto just now, and its developing along pretty well. a good story has real characters, and for awhile i didn't like sasuke or his über badass brother itachi because they were too god-like in their abilities. but now, as the manga goes thru their histories, i guess everyone's got a story to tell. sasuke the genius of his class, born under the sharingan, an ability that's in his clan's genetics, can be paralled with the gifted people that we have in our sociey, or those born under the right stars. he's breaking down now, because he's insecure about his abilities somewhat, when our underdog hero naruto seems to be catching up with him in terms of strength and ability. sasuke feels somewhat insecure because he realises that he has no real strength as compared to the many other evils around, and the most 'evil' of all, his elder brother itachi who massacered their entire clan years before. sasuke swore revenge, and has embarked on the path of self destruction by embracing evil itself in exchange for power. it's a short cut, it's tragic for the uchiha clan, but hey we all love a good tragedy.

anyhow, so that's the story now, we dont know if sasuke will give in to the evil, or if naruto's gonna kick his ass into submission or talk him out of it by offering his 'i was lonely but now i have people acknowledging me' testimony. i mean, that's kinda the central theme about the manga. in fact, it's probably gonna be like that, because sasuke's all alone even though the girls like him and he's somewhat held in high regard because of his abilities. but yeah.. getting to see a lot more than his usual act sey (note: to have an air of coolness) self.

oh, but the point about this post, was about the gradual decaying of itachi. i think this chapter kinda shows the turning point in his downward spiral. itachi is the real genius, the tortured artist ahead of his time. because he's excelled so much in his youth, you can imagine the distance that puts him against everyone else. he's exceptional in that sense. and because of that, the society around him is telling him to put his clan first, his country first, but in some way, his own twisted way i suppose, he sees these things as boundaries and limitations stunting his growth as a shinobi. to draw it to real flesh and blood life, its kinda like.. people just not being able to comprehend your abilities, not understanding the knowledge that's welling up inside you, or the emotions playing in your heart. where i guess, truely you've touched a fragment of heaven and its positively bursting out thru you, and you can't even express your revelation. yeahh, i guess we tend to look down of people sometimes if that happens to us too. sooo anyhow, i know im making a mountain out of a molehill for a manga, but hey.. i really think the themes they're introducing is so much deeper than the usual stuff, yet it does it in an accesible way.

so yeah, the point is, i guess while we may have our gifts, i dont think any of us is better than anyone else. though yes, a lot of us have walked down that path.

we'll meet again
later today, a good buddy of mine, possibly one of my best friends, napkin man is going to be baptised. i'm shure this is a big step for our hero, and yeah.. it's way huge. i'll be celebrating with you in spirit bro, really glad that you're choosing to make this an outward decleration of your faith toward our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. -) really, my heart is positively beaming, and this is indeed going to be a special day for you.

and then, we're actually gonna meet each other once again in melbourne on monday morning! man.. i can't exactly believe it, but thanks so much for wanting to meet up in oz when i didnt exactly wanna go back. you've truely made this a vacation worth having. who knows wot adventure lies ahead of us, but i get the feeling that our social justice will prevail. who dares stand in our way?

on a cold an frosty mug
sits a cake of foam. but this is not about beer, just that im absolutely freezing now and my fingers feel as if they were frozen fries. i'd eat them because i'm hungry, but i need my fingers to play bass.

it's strange to be praised as a bass player by my band. i mean, i know i'm not that wicked a bass player, maybe because i've seen too many mean ones, but yeah, it's cool the new band likes the stuff i put out. i like the stuff they put out too. it's not commercially viable stuff, but i just never dreamed i'd be playing in such a band, the stuff you only hear on obscure records and mp3s and never thought anyone out there would wanna make such music. we tried a new drummer, and he's got wikid chops. he actually adds a commercial rock edge, but i think he'll actually blend into the music and create a unique style of his own.

i need to make a list, if not i'm going to vegetate in front of my computer the entire winter, or i'm actually gonna find that my holidays suddenly came and went.