All Bright But Tearing

All Bright But Tearing


a fine snap by folkstar.

the snap above is leeson by the way, and not m a y f l e d.

tomorrow is gig night and i'm a bit apprehensive of wot to expect. will there be a lot of people there, or will it be a washout? if there are so many people there, then there are so many expectations about us. people liking our music will be subjective, people liking us will be subjective. being popular with the local media (if any) or with the scene, will it always be at the back of our heads?

i've confided in thomas countless times, that if we wanna make it big, we have to sell out. wot entails selling out then? it loosely means making yourself marketable. because if you're marketable, you'll be able to have more media coverage as well as events coverage. so long as you fit into the agenda of the "big picture", you'll probably find yourself on a bigger stage. because the bigger your band is, the bigger venues you play. makes sense right?

so how're you different from the band you started out as anyway? you're not superhuman, you are still you.

and i guess that's wot i wanna take out and put into m a y f l e d for now. i don't wanna put in too much so that i can concentrate on a lot of other things that require more of me. wot i give to this band are my time, friendship, fun and professional services. but somehow, with me awkward time management skills.. i can't help out with more creative endeavours or marketing ploys.

which suits me fine for a bit. i just intend to rock up tomorrow, play the music i love to play and not be pressurised by the rest.

somethings you just gotta do with reckless abandon, like no one's looking or no one cares. for starters, you've gotta be honest with yourself.