being there and here
i think maybe i lead two lives. or rather, i'm trying to lead one life, but being in perth and singapore evokes a sense of duality. you see, in perth, i spend a good portion of my time serving in church because quite honestly, i have nothing else better to do, and also, God has blessed me with good friends from church who come alongside, share similar passions and also work dilligently to serve in the church. so much so, that doing the church seems so 'natural' it's almost 'right'.
when i come back to singapore, i don't have so much of a ministry or very 'church-filled' activities to be responsible to. it's a good break, but it also forces me to think very deeply and hard just how much of my service actually comes from me. already, after being back for two weeks, several people know of my plans to return to singapore after finishing my studies in perth, and i suppose the invitations have been sent out to me as to where exactly i would like to serve.
to put it conveniently, i could just walk into the first door that opens, to just go back into the machine of doing church. but actually spending time 'away' from church, has revealed slightly as to whether or not i have the passion to serve in youth ministry. do i want to sacrifice the time i can spend with my counterparts to help nurture younger blood, come alongside young people who i prematurely judge as being immature much more often than not?
these are difficult questions, and im glad they get raised now, also knowing that i can't go into a ministry without the jurisdiction of God. i need God to show me his favour in the decision, because if i'm serving without God's help, what is the point of serving anyway?
we're no heroes, but we seem to be trying. let's not try too much.
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