skin tight tokyo II

well, the videos have been shared, and now we move on to the more plain text.

actually, i'm starting to wonder whether i have any more things to say. oh maybe i have too many things to say that i get a bit confused every time i come back here. to vent, to rant, to write. to listen to myself as i re-read the words i type for all to see

i've been working for the past three months, and it does feel like a long time. i'm thankful, very thankful that i have a job, something i used to be so worried about before i graduated, whether i would ever amount to anything, and now i'm working in what some would call a branded place.

but i think if you really look deep inside my heart, it's not thh corporate world that holds its allure for me, something else captivates my heart, and i hope i don't lose that edge, or lose sight of that which makes me different. it's not meant to be proud or boastful, heaven forbid, but i believe that despite working in the cogs of the machine, each and everyone of us holds something deep in our hearts that keeps us captivated, but usually, more often than not, we choose to ignore it, to pursue something else, to pursue a seduction of what this world has to offer, and not what is in store for us in heaven.

before you think i sound like some kind of a religious buff, well.. maybe you wouldn't be too far from the truth, i know what i believe in. daily, i struggle and i fight, to remind myself of just what i believe in. this world is so tempting to my flesh, but it is also transient. and i've been fighting the battles for many years. some days i fail, some days i'm kept strong, but it's only by grace that the new day comes, faith in something unseen that the sun rises tomorrow.

i really did wish everything my heart desired would come true, that i were stronger in many ways, or didnt have to feel so much. and yet, to turn away and not become, an eternity with no salvation.. can i expect you to understand? those of you who do, praise the Lord, but what about the rest? what can we say to convince you that it's not about religion, not just about right and wrong or checks and balances, but ultimately about an innocent man who was put to death and rose from the dead, and the free gift of salvation and eternal life?

some of us choose to believe we just fade back into nothingness.. is that scarier than believing in a hell? but here's a thought: we're just multiplied cells from our parent's sperm and ovum, and yet.. here we exist with a certain consciousness. we put our answer in what some scientists tell us, but all they tell us is that we exist, to exist, that we're part of the great primodial soup. so what purpose is there in life, if there is no value in death?

so i put this across to you, if there is value in life, than there is value in death. and we do not just "return to the earth"

but you'll ultimately have to find that out for yourself. my mute words fall on deaf ears.