thinking about it
y'know.. i've just got this break till the 25th. i have no idea how im gonna pass my time really. i mean, apart from studying, some other folk have exams to study for, or they can make their own fun. me? i can't seem to make my own fun at times. but that's not depending on people for your happiness.

dependency. you really can't depend on people too much. i mean, you and i have the capacity to let one another down. yet strangely, we all need someone, something, some God. me? i realise how dependent i am on my glasses. it really sucks to not see clearly. im borrowing my housemate's pair for now, but its not gonna be forever. and then i gotta spend more money on a new frame and lenses. im thinking red tints. it'd be spiffy.

and then, when there dosen't seem to be anything to do, wot then? how alone do you feel? i'm only glad i can pray, play guitar, write in a journal, mebbe call some friends up, mebbe just sulk. oh yeah, i intend to read alot to pass time. the magic word is "intend". we all know from experiences, good intentions just aren't enough.

and so, when i finally go back to spore on the 26th. and see long unseen friends, spending more time in church, especially the mission trips and christmas, and festivities.. you know, it sounds like im gonna have a blast when i go back. but if its all a state of mind, everything else could just be a farce. i dont want that to happen.

i guess i'll admit, it seems everybody in perth has some chill out buddy except me. yeah, someone you can depend on. you shouldnt be depending, but it really gets to you at times. i guess thats one reason why i seek solace in the online community. namely friends i know that are somehow connected via the internet. this blog? i dinnae, sometimes it feels like its updates of my life, sometimes.. just fun things ive come across. but alotta times, i dunno, mebbe its a longing to just seem more real. i know im real to my folks, and some really good friends. its not about keeping up with appearances, its about being real. insecurities and all. secrets and lies. dreams that dont come true, jadedness, and yes.. when i feel it, happiness and joy. security, comfort, confidence.

*grin* i guess, yeah.. maybe this blog truely has the capacity to be a soap opera. and i've got a rockin' soundtrack.

you know it's left you
when you wake up the next day half blind and a terrible neck ache. i'm too old for mosh pits. i can't bang the hed like i used to. and then i lost my glasses. haha, its funny how it all doesnt matter there and then. but it does now. all in all, triple crown saved itself because of good company. i'm still trying to see the logic in that by squinting through my eyes.

striking a pose that paralyses
now this is a rockstar pose:


for the uninitiated (i'm guessing a vast majority of this audience), above we have tony levin of king crimson, his namesake band, peter gabriel's band and the new sarah record fame. wot's that he's playing? a chapman stick. and this is how you work it. warning, it is so uber cool! (plus that chicks dig me pose too).

we had sushi for dinner. jon, han and me. starting to feel hungry again.

bless me with righteous groove
yay! i managed to get that pair of bermudas that i had my eye set on. but those are just material posessions. still, it made me somewhat glad. it was also a 25% discount. so i gottit for 60AUD. not too shabby.

been blessed with a massive download of shoegaze music. bathing myself in melancholy now. i wonder if i should start a shoegaze band here in perth. but then, the other dreampop band gentlyfall has disappeared from perth. my shoegaze project should not fade into nothingness.

i realise i havent been letting my mind wander alot. no wait, i take that back. is it, that the older you get, it just dosen't matter to you anymore? or mebbe it is still in me, i just dont see why this blog needs to have that sorta info. =) yeah, so wot if the world knows who you are. you don't know yourself sometimes. guess i'm just as clueless about me, as you are about, well.. me.

oh kay, screw this identity crap, its really the farthest thing from my mind. im just counting the days till i go back to spore. mainly becaus its gonna get terribly broing here, waiting 18 days for ONE exam paper. i guess i have only the best reasons to get a High Distinction for this paper. crap. i think i'll make it thru my first semester, and then.. work at being more hardworking again. well, we all have certain wishes.

and just a side note. i'm really trying to find reason to update. i think i should finally get my ass cracking on coming up with a real website.

death by durian
wow, two deaths reported on the ST interactive. in spore wots more. two deaths.. i mean, things are happening in spore! but it all just sounds wrong.. i mean, its not something you hear very often. mebbe sporeans are really comin' outta the closet by smacking each other.

triple crown morrows. the uni bash apparently. haha, wot a fine time to frolick in the grass and spew over the bush court. i heard it gets rowdy. i'll chekkit. its been awhile.

cheap
words are cheap
wot can i say that you haven't already heard
wot can i do, that hasn't already been done
wot's new when you're better than me
wot's true when it's all been copied

you know the drill. everything moves in circles dosen't it? well, it feels like that sometimes, or alotta times. our lives, sometimes just following our heros of past. truely unique? it's a rut, learning from everybody's mistakes.

lo-fi
playing my tracklist just thru my laptop's speakers is such a refreshing change from listening to it over good speakers.

spiffy!

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Stalking along the candy store, attacking with gilded boxing gloves, cometh Gideon's Ephod! And he gives a low roar: "In the name of malice, I look forward to hearing the lamentations of thy women!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

comments: i don't know about you, but that dosent sound very scary in a real battle.

sound bleached bed linen
SLOWDIVE. quiet, pensive. you don't like to cause a
scene and you've been known to even drone
people to sleep.


what shoegazer band are you?
brought to you by quizilla

delight
she didn't disappear after taking my heart to speak to it personally. she has returned, as i always knew she would. like a thief in the night, the day and hour was unknown. of course i don't expect to still be typing this if i was 19 days late for the rapture. yes, a sweet surrender as we fumble towards ecstacy. the wait is over.

i only hope, for those who didn't know better and want to comment that she sounds like Dido, keep their vile comments to themselves.

Sarah McLachlan's new studio album in six years: afterglow.

bold
i didn't know wot else to type for a title, so i had the unimagniative choice of stating the obvious, that yes, the title is highlighted in bold. a brief rundown of things that happened on monday. uni, test (sucked), home, well-deserved bumming around. dinner at nando's, home, caught australian idol, it was a suprise of sorts. this sunday's the grand finals. or is it next week? napped at nine. woken up at eleven thirty. thankfully, i should be studying for a test in roughly 13 hours time. resolve.

aye yeah, can't really find anything interesting to happen. hmmmm. im shure if i looked hard enough, something should have happened. i got my media research paper back. it was good. the test wasnt. i think i'll get a pretty average average for my units this semester.

=) life isn't all that exciting, even for a rockstar.

we are standing on the edge
the sun rose at 0530 this morning.
i had a dream, that was good in a dream
but i knew it wasn't real
and it did not sit too well with me
when i finally woke up.

"it's gonna be, a glorious day
i feel my luck could change"
- lucky, radiohead

hmph
arghhh! test morrows!! and tuesday!! and draft in on wednesday!! don't need to sleep anymore beautiful people.