Wednesday, November 30, 2005

the ghost of she to come
i feel like tearing my limbs off and burning everything in sight.

Behind Your Backs

Behind Your Backs

a fine snap by folkstar.

my housemate theresa has graduated and is leaving for home tonight. such is the life of international students, you grow roots, you uproot them hoping to transplant yourself back into native soil. hoping that time has not changed the familiarity of our mundane existence.

but the time that passes by is dynamic and always changing. people grow up, buildings fall down. it moves in circles and there is release from new bondages.

and tomorrow, when i wake up, a housemate and dear friend would have returned, and things will never be the same again. everyday, something changes, and it would be foolish to wish it were yesterday.

Dancing Forever

Dancing Forever

a fine snap by folkstar.

sometimes its so hard to not trust anyone but yourself.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

open caterpillars that seem to melt
i'm back in it, i think i'm back in it. man.. i need to refurbish all my lost editing skills, for the moment i can't remember anything that i'm supposed to do. yeeesh, in a way i hate learning new stuff, its so time consuming. but then again, i won't have much to do this next week before i go back, so i might as well relearn wot i can. you think this is funny? it's not, it feels so dehabilitating. or however you spell that damn word.

i've sent out one resume, in the hopes that i will get an internship and learn something. it just seems like the right thing to do this holidays, alot of my friends are graduating and begining their careers whereas i'm just wading thru an ocean learning to swim, trying to remember the trade routes. is this wot its like to grow up? you don't exactly grow into it, rather it all suddenly swamps you and its either sink or swim?

i have a fair idea of how i'm going to do this semester, i'm probably going to be passing all my units. if i don't, then its bye bye university, but i don't think that will be the case. i've confirmed that i'm clearing two out of three units, one of them is probably just a pass, and the other, well.. we'll see how it goes. as for the third one, it all depends on whether my tutor likes work handed up late.

i really had a problem with deadlines this semester, handing up work late everywhere and my tutors all say the same thing that its sucha waste that i don't hand up stuff on time because i suppose, the work this idiot produces is actually of a certain worth. my problem with deadlines isn't as bad as last semester's and the year before. i suppose that if i do carry on next semester, its really through the grace of God, because i think i've been so disobedient in this regard that i'm not prioritising my university's workload. many more people deserve to be in my oppurtunity, and sometimes i just disregard the full extent of growing up.

in awhile, my video file would have been rendered and then i can begin burn burn burning. see you in the real world. or is this it?



a fine snap by folkstar.

couple of my friends won 3 awards at the murdoch film festival (where majority of the entries were shot on digital video), and the director for both the winning shorts was the electric cowboy. so well, i'm just happy for him and his crew, and hope to see greater things to come.

magazine of rags to riches
it's been awhile, but i just haven't found the time to update. my mom and cousin are flying back tomorrow, and the time that they were here just seemed to pass by in a flash. almost three weeks, and then i go back to spore next monday. haven't really had the time to slow down, and the year's finally come to an end. it brings about many strange feelings that i haven't felt in awhile.

Saturday, November 26, 2005



a fine snap by folkstar.

crack down on the hip parade
the day is winding down and i'm allowed some time to myself. apologised to mom and she accepted it, and we just appreciated each other alot better after that. shure we're not perfect, shure we'd like to think that we're better than to squabble about inane things, but the truth is that we aren't better than any of that. no matter how redeamed we are, in our cursed earthly bodies our tongues are forever cursed with deadly poison.

that's the thing, even though we've been saved, we are not above our fallen nature. even though we walk in victory, the physical curse, is that we can lapse back into ruts. we are not above it, we should not look with despise and contempt on others and ourselves if ever we fall short because we are human, and without a supernatural helping hand we are doomed to failure.

the more we recognise that we are capable of falling, the more unsurprised we will be at the nature of the world. as christians, we won't have our heads in the clouds and not identify when someone tells us he's gotten his girlfriend pregnant because he didn't know better. because as much as i condone, and the bible condones premarital/extramarital sex, i am fully capable of doing the same thing. it's only by grace that we somehow don't.

in this regard, our faith can be awfully nihilistic and it suits me just fine. -)

Friday, November 25, 2005

different days will tell you different things
the days have just been going by for me, haven't really had time to think about stuff or reflect. its a welcome change, usually i have too much time. having your mom and cousin here, means that you have to get used to being accountable for almost everything you do every single second of the day. i must say, i've quite lost touch with that, or maybe i never even possessed that patience in the first place. anyhow, that story goes is that i become this volatile mess whenever she asks me really simple questions about what's happening, or what's gonna happen, y'know.. harmless questions (in a nagging sorta way), and lets just say i don't loose my cool at my friends the same way i loose my cool at her. *sigh* but i've already let it all out in a few jogs on my own, cooled down and more level headed, accepted that there are some things a son i may not be now. its funny when your flaws are laid out to bare and you gotta decide what your course of action to be. anyhow, i hope to apologise to her today, because.. when i have kids of my own, i would still want to be appreciated by my kids. but isn't it funny that the ones closest to you have the higher chance of hurting you the most? that really shouldn't be the way should it?

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

singapore's hand in drug trafficking
as alleged by the australian.

gee.. i don't know wot to believe anymore these days. i'm really not buying much of this anyway, in a way i find it hard to believe that any drug involvment actually goes all the way to the top of the singaporean government.

i'm reading this now, and its a lot of fingerpointing, very little actual evidence, alot of alleged evidence. what its drawn into highlight, is that singapore has plenty of trade buisness with burma, and it seems that arouses suspicion as to the type of buisness that goes on. well, today the US just agreed to help indonesia by helping fund their millitary. i don't know if this means anything, but its the same US backing that put ex-president surharto to power, and slaughtered many of his own to get there, as well as deregulating many of indonesia's trade laws to plunge it into poverty with corruption.

my point is, that sometimes aid has strings attached, sometimes it might be genuine aid, and maybe we don't see it till its too late.

a part of me wants to see that the australian media is once again playing out the drama, sensationalising all the elements and moving australians into some sort of nationalistic furor, another is concerned that this conspiracy goes all the way to the top. and in a way, it wouldn't be too hard for a government like singapore to silence many of its critics and evidence. the track records of both sides just stink, and why does it hurt so much just to take sides?

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

lest we mourn for the dead
wow, i haven't really had the time to do a post in a few days.. just been busy showing my mom and cousin around. don't really know if i have much to update, i just confirmed my flight back to spore for the 5th of december. and everything after that seems like an open book. don't really know wot i wanna do this semester. well, i lie, i do have some plans, and i kind of do know wot i wanna spend my money on. first and formost, i'm gonna get my pedal board going, and then i'm gonna fix up my guitar. hopefully, that'll put me in a position to write more new tunes with thomas because i'm really looking to playing guitar in a new project band again. not that i'm hanging the bass up, just y'know, need more hobbies. hahaha.. gonna apply as a volunteer at musicforgood, and if anyone knows of any internships, maybe i'll give that a whirl. well, for those in spore, see you when i get there! haven't seen so many people in ages, its always good to be home -)

Saturday, November 19, 2005

confirmation in the stars, there are angels
and what would you think, if all the things i surrounded myself with were done in a hope to validate this existence. what do we find beneathe, an empty husk or something filled with meaning and purpose?

Friday, November 18, 2005

past lives
the luxury of comfort is pushing the screams of mercy back into the troves of malcontent. we're too small for our seats
too big for our strollers
withering away as it slowly decays,
holding on to that which fades away
(holding on to our past lives, our past years of glory, of who we were to make up for who we weren't)

is it a sad thing? is it a pitiful thing? or is it the only thing that we could feel?

i wrote that on my way back to perth earlier this semester. i think its something that has been brewing in me for a pretty long time, this feeling that my entire life has been a mistake. that everything i've ever done has been the result of one mistake, one failure after another. and again i stress that people remember your failures more than your achievements.

in a way, i see the perpetual looking at the past, longing for nostalgia as well as remembering achievements as a sign of weakness. it sometimes shows how we remember our glory years, and only walk in the past, never moving forwards. and yet for so much of my judgement, today perhaps i'm reminding myself just how important certain lessons from the past are.

if you see me today, you'll probably know that i was just an average corporal during my stint in the army. and in perhaps in admiting a bout of my insercurity, i think i still believe that people seem to give more credit to officers, that to a certain extent, in a credentials sorta way, people respect them more. i might be wrong, i'm probably paranoid, but today i say things in the hope of exorcising them.

and everytime i feel this way, like why are officers getting all the credit and respect? is it something to really be proud of? spending 9 months getting rank that professional soldiers spend 4 years slogging for in a military university to achieve? before it gets discredited as sour grapes, i'm believe i'm telling it like it is as well.

my time in the army was spent this close getting my chance to be an officer. if i were to remember an achievement, i was the best recruit in my company, i was supposed to have a future (in the Singapore Actors Federation though). the thing is, because i don't wanna wallow in the past, i don't like talking about this. but i recognise that maybe i'm not all that over it.

and that's my point exactly. people spend more time harping over the fact that you screwed up, not wot achievements you had in the past. you may have recieved top class honours, or a daymn nobel prize, you may have saved the world, but all you need to do is to destroy it and everyone will be blaming you, and nobody cares two cents about all the good you did before that.

and i wrote those lines above, because i recognised in myself, and in life in general just how obsessed we are at attaining future credentials so that our past may speak for us.

but i'd just like to say that all we have is now. we remember the good in our lives to make up for the bad in our past. but all we have is now. it is now that we have a power to create or destroy. i wish i could mean it when i say we are free of the past, its something that i believe all of us need. salvation from our pasts, its one of the things that has a solid grip of fear on us and paralyzes us. and yet, if we are truely free of that past, then all we have is now, and that's worth living for sometimes. no fate save for wot we make of it ourselves.



a fine snap by folkstar.

for some strange reason, i've been watching the dane cook routine this night so far. might i recommend the Dave Attell Insomniac show Scene two. he voices all my concerns about some very important issues.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

respect the dead because they don't respect themselves
i'm sitting out here in my living room typing away on this post listening to this year's compilation over my headphones. made a few changes to it, and i must, the changes just add more (because i added two more songs and took out one) to the whole experience. morgan and i are really planning for this year's giftings, because well.. we both believe that music is something that should be shared, especially amongst close family and friends.

i can't wait to go back to the leeson camp and bust out a few jams with them. may fled is doing pretty well at the moment as well.. every show, there always seems to be someone bopping abit to the music. 'specially if they seem to be from an older generation. i quite like that, it makes me feel like it something that only if you've been there before you'll gettit. our music here isn't terribly popular, but we just hope to put out the best tunes we can even if no one's looking. artistically, that's really important sometimes, because we won't always get acknowledged for wot we do. in fact, people tend to remember our mistakes more than our achievements, so in that regard, it's always important to still have principles and do your best even when no one's looking. man looks at the surface, but God looks at the heart.

daymn, ive got the munchies.

These Are Where Baby Strawberries Come From

This Are Where Baby Strawberries Come From

a fine snap by folkstar.

today, i went to the strawberry farm with my mom, esther, theresa, arielle and zachery. at this farm, we get to pick the strawberries ourselves, and since they were in season, we managed to get giganormous, sweet and juicey ones. after that, we went to this little garden where they serve lunch, and we had crepes with chicken and mushrooms, fish and chips as well as ham cheese quiche! a wonderful meal to round off an exciting morning. it was all quite surreal with the weather being just perfect and the sun shining over us. days like these are hard to come by, and yet we'll forget them only till our last recollection.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

it seethes and sometimes it boils over
i've been blogging for close to two years now, and probably been reading different blogs for earlier than that. usually i refrain from naming people who have treaded on my toes, much less talk about every single little thing that is wrong with my life or with society, or the world and the list goes on.

i come from a "do unto others wot you would want others do unto you" camp, where i believe that if i start flaming others, i should be responsible and mature enough to accept the flames of others, whether justified or otherwise. it's a personal moral system, you don't have to follow it, but for me, it just keeps one in check. you're put in a situation where you try to look the other way, try to look beyond it, and try to respect and be patient rather than just simply lashing out in wot normally is self-defence and retaliation.

blogs are public spaces, where freedom of speach is applauded, but with that also comes the encouragement to use it, not abuse it.

i suppose the reason why i am addressing this issue, is that after so long, i'm finally deciding to use the public space to air out my concerns for a change. i don't normally do this, because i choose not to. i get paranoid with becoming an empty vessel that makes a helluva racket. i think words can be important things, that they communicate many things and thru even a slight misunderstanding, spread pestilence amongst relationships like the plague itself.

having said that, after all that's be said and done, we want "less talk and more rock". walk the talk kitty kats, this is fundamentally one of grand flaws of organised religion, and why christianity gets lumped into camps such as hypocrisy. we speak against all sorts of 'moral filth', and yet we talk about 'loving people as Jesus did'. and then we judge, distance ourselves, become seperated by fencing ourselves in. if we really loved them, we would accept them as Jesus did regardless of the sin they are in, because we were all sinners as well. and believe it or not, we probably get a massive hard-on by being self-righteous sometimes.

but anyway, back to blogging. i don't know if there's a bad state of blogging these days. maybe there is, maybe there isn't. i tend to flucuate between the two. there is and there is i suppose both are 'controvasial' in a writing style that empowers the writer that they 'take shit from no one, don't like my blog just f--- off'. and somehow, its the comment boxes from both camps that intrigues me the most. people are taking this blogging thing seriously. and when coupled with instant prejudices, a flame war erupts and everyone just loses respect for everyone else except themselves.

this feeds the ego, and continues to fragment community ties and mutual respect between human beings. if we do respect anyone, it's probably because we're politically correct and don't wanna be viewed as 'bad people'.

another reason why God looks at the heart and not the surface.

almost slowly and if not shurely, i hope that for you who reads this blog will pick out the subtleties of the Christian faith, that are in reality the most prolific revolutions back in the day as they are in the present now.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Looking Upon

Looking Upon

a fine snap by folkstar.

dad's gone home today and well.. my feelings are as such. -) really glad he came down just to pay a visit, and just show him how i've been living my life. he never really had oppurtunities like this, and for all that he's given up to raise up a family and given to his son's education i will be grateful the rest of my days.

not that we're a calculative bunch, but i think a close-knit family looks out for each other and scratches each others backs.

dad doesn't usually say much, and i think he tends to keep things to himself. not that i would want him to start being open all again or to be someone he's not, but i think perhaps we respect people for who they are, give'em room to be themselves and be generally accepting of all our good and shortcomings.

dad, i'll miss you as you go back to work tomorrow, it's been awhile since we last hung out like that and i'm glad we got the time to kick back and enjoy a few beers in between. thanks for the oppurtnities you've made for me, and i can only hope to do you proud some day -)

Sunday, November 13, 2005

you give blogging a bad name
i almost wanna give it up sometimes because i don't wanna be associated with the mindless garble that it usually is. and then some..

she finds it hard to shimmer in the light
i had to find some time here i guess. have been playing host to my parents for the whole day, and its made me appreciate my own alone time here. time where one can just sit quietly and reflect on one's own life. i guess i didn't know how much alone time i had till my parents came, and now its quite scarce.

so they're sleeping in my room now, and im just in the living room typing all this out. its been great having them here, and i'm just glad to be able to share with them wot they've been sacrificing for me.

tomorrow dad's gonna join mom and me at church. really wonder how he'll take to it, i do hope that it speaks into him and causes him to question one's existence.

somehow, that's one reason why i've been so interested in spirituality, that idea that there's always more than meets the eye. that there's always a reason, something beneath the surface of our existence? i mean, wot sort of purpose would we have if we were a cosmic joke and we exist simply because we exist.

if life were an accident, that there's no real reason we should be here, and that somehow we've arrived, built up our cultures and modern technologies, that we should just enjoy the 70-80 years that we are alive and that's it.

isn't it meaningless?

and the thing is that, some of us are so totally content with that 80 years of existence. granted, i see those years as a gift (and curse sometimes), but if life were so meaningless.. why live it? wouldn't it make a difference then to just end it all.

and that's why, the first step is to always look beyond ourselves. that if we died, it affects others.. and there's a clue in living your life for someone else. and then you surrender more and more, and finally.. finally we pass away from here.

am i afraid of death? not particularly, not just because i believe in an afterlife, i mean, even if you didn't believe in an afterlife you wouldn't fear death because you've accepted that death is a natural part of life.

the scary thing in reality is, what if there is an afterlife, and what if there is a hell?

Saturday, November 12, 2005

i could sense it even before you said it
i had my parents come here to visit me and i was all excited. to play the filial son and show them around perth and make shure they enjoyed themselves. it seems perfect, to have your parents here, to have them show their love to you and you show their love to them. and once again, we prove to the world just how perfect life is, how without fault one's life can be.

the funny thing is that they had a little squabble. a mindless squabble that really didn't warrant any harsh words, but it happened. and for a brief moment, everything fell apart and i just wished that nobody was here to see this.

but then again, we have to learn that nothing stays perfect, that love exists beyondmindless petty squabbles, and that God overcomes all imperfect things. it was a grounding lesson today, to have it this real, to be broken down on the spot in this public place just how much we can't believe in the fairytales that society tells us to live. the hollywood marriages, the hollywood dreams.

at dinner today, we met up with one of my parents' old friends, and its so sudden how one changes their impression of you once they found out you're christian. the host immediately tried every chance to jack the faith, and while he was admittedly tipsy, i took a mild offence. not enough to hold it against him, but enough to be mad at myself abit.

y'see, lately God and i haven't really been talking much, and i've been feeling like a sunday christian of sorts for the past week, and when faced with a situation like that, it just angered me that when he asked me why i believed, i almost didn't know wot to say. i had all the head answers, 'specially after that article i wrote. but somehow, in my heart, because of my distance between God, there was no real convincing answer.

its so sad. but it shows me how much i need God more now, and so much more i need to learn.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

wishes do come true
i found my kick in the nuts here and here

caution, outright racisim.

taking the time to find out why
somehow i find that i have nothing left to say. i really feel dry, and i also feel that this will become very ironic. because while i said that i have nothing left to say, i know i will spend the next thirty words (or more) trying to understand why i have nothing new to say. is it times up yet? i can't help but feel i'm supposed to be living up to something, but i don't know wot it is. am i too slack, am i too immature? sometimes i wish someone would just kick me in the nuts so that i'd know there are repercussions to the real world.


and for all your tards out there, i meant the nut-kicking in a metaphorical way.

wendy the panged
my folks just arrived in towne. it shure is fun having someone to show around.. i think they really like it here, i mean who wouldn't? so my updates may not be as frequent, but hey.. we all learn to get along.. -)

Wednesday, November 9, 2005

the mindless drone of a heat fan
yes, i do wonder if the more i exercise, the more it seems i'm allowed to binge, thus gaining more weight thru exercise as opposed to losing it.

in the presence stands a tree
the high lives are pretty people without a care in the world. subjected to torturous amounts of vindication, everybody loves you. i want in as much as you want out, i'll find more so long as you give less.

just finished writing an article and i can't help but feel so different about it. its different knowing that there's an actual circulation around your work, and one wonders just how far one should take an idea. alas, writing like this humbles me to cultivate more than just relishing a gift.

it's a healthy inadequecy, i don't know how the audience will recieve to the text, i can only hope it does what it's supposed to do, wotever that is.

Monday, November 7, 2005

who will call me home?
as i sit here typing and listening to the rough tracklisting for this year's compilation, waiting for hot water to boil so that i can have a pot of green tea to accompany me, it just begs the question of just what is important to me. not that i have not been asking that question a lot. i think about it from time to time, but i tend to take things as they come, because i don't want to live a life bound by the chains of the uncertain future. still, it is good and healthy to think about it every once in awhile. gives you focus i'd say.

ahhh.. the pot of tea is now in my room. i hope it helps, i seem to have a case of heartburn. i don't like heartburn, it makes me feel uncomfortable. i'm hoping that by losing some weight it'll ease the heartburn. you know how that belly of yours seems to push your internal organs upwards? don't know if you'll agree with me, maybe i have an eating disorder. not that i would joke about these things. no.

and back to what's important to me.
God's important to me, where would i be without him? a constant source of direction, support and comfort. and still i know i take all his grace for granted sometimes, how i even put various things above him. we're not perfect, i wish i were, but then i wouldn't be in need of salvation then.

family and friends are important to me. sometimes i think i strive for certain things just for their approval. i don't particularly buy into the make yourself happy scheme of doing things. i don't see how i can validate myself with my achievements, how that makes me a better person in anyway. i think God validates us, and people can sort of pseudo validate us. it may be a false sense of sercurity sometimes, but learning to live not for yourself is also one of the first steps.

and perhaps after that everything falls along behind. creativity, music, health, material posessions.. making your mark in society or community. the next phase in life is coming soon, and i never imagined that it would actually come so soon. so many years of growing up, wanting to be grown up, and now that you're here, you just wished you had more time to prepare yourself.

a little glimpse into the sort of romantic future i've envisioned for myself is to be an accomplished musician, in an accomplished band, constantly pushing the boundaries on good music and revisiting the grand nostalgia of good music. to be in the company of good family and friends, to have community and relationships with them under the umbrella of good music and food. we don't have to accomplish the world, just our lives.

Sunday, November 6, 2005

sun lying in the sand
and it has come to my attention that things will not always go the way you planned it to. gee, im not doing much now, just working on the tracklisting for this year's compilation. the autobahn and me are working to give you guys a quality product this year, full of sensational music from around the world (i lie) to bring festive cheer on rainy days. the future seems uncertain.

and there's something for everyone
an early post because i didn't post on saturday. not that it really matters, but since i woke up early this sunday morning, i thought it'd be convenient to type something out for those who check this before noon everyday.

it's a lovely day this sunday morning, one of those days where you can't see anything bad happening, where everything's gonna unfold as if it were planned. i realise that's how much faith i put in the everyday things when one is at peace, where you're not constantly thinking of wot's ahead, but being given the gift of today itself. to enjoy it and be at peace with it for wot it is. it's almost surreal to think about it, and this is wot i hope for everyone.

sometimes, i think deep down im still an idealist, however i know that all my other cognitive senses tell me to be a cynical bastard. it's a pretty interesting life i'd say.

things have finally slowed down for me with the academic workload, i hope to pursue more creative projects and also start living a life not about academics but experiences. feels as if i took a sabbatical from feeling things and.. i feel dangerously apathetic now. i leave that to the future.

by the way, not many people know, but i wrote this article for agingyouth productions.

Friday, November 4, 2005

Overmade Viking Plan

Overmade Viking Plan

a fine snap by folkstar.

funny how now when there's time to give away, you wonder how it's going to be spent. the doors of oppurtunity are slowly being opened and all i have to offer is an overmade viking plan.

Thursday, November 3, 2005

sing songs of hope, hope that brings..
oh wot do i care? oh what do i know? well, i'll admit that yesterday's posts were somewhat emo, had to let off some steam lah.. was prepping for my presentation today and attempting to get an essay done. well, i kind of got an extension on that essay, and after that its a journal and then i'll be done for the semester. done! i still can't believe it. if you know how close i've come to dropping out, i still can't believe it. it's beyond words, it's beyond words to have someone believe that you could do it, that credibility, that acknowledgement. *sigh* and yet i know i don't live for these things alone, but through it all, i've been learning the difference between walking the path and knowing the path. to all my dear friends somehow stuck in a rut, take heart, take great joy that your Lord Jesus cares for you, and wants to help you fight those battles you can't win. for his glory.. amen

Wednesday, November 2, 2005

when it decends upon you, weep
eat your children, back in a corner, don't leave room for me, everything is spinning around. i don't think this will last, i don't think this will hurt, but nothing comes close to experiencing this, nothing comes closer to death and the end than this. or so we imagine, or so we lie, that this is wot we believe in, this is wot propels us, she couldn't really take it, so she left, left us for dead, left us to fend ourselves and find something else. don't treat me for something i don't have, everything comes apart as it comes together. this isn't really happening.

falsettos are notes i'll never reach
that's not true, i do wanna reach them someday. but that's not enough is it? sometimes you wonder if its the best thing that you've ever had, whether its the best you could have done or could you have done more. just what are the limits to us human beings? i'm down to my last few assignments and i feel like throwing in the towel. some you fear are lost causes, and yet.. and yet.. so much has been invested. so many more years of life ahead of me. i can't fail now can i?

it begs the thought though, that if i don't come home with a degree, just what does it say of me? funny how people remember you more for your shortcomings than your achievements, funny how much easier it is to fall from greatbess than to attain greatness. the world we live in can be pretty unforgiving at times, so much so it twists my perception of the grace that died for me sometimes.

may the Lord constantly remind me how free flowing his grace is, while not to be taken for granted (but lets face it, we've treated God like a doormat so many times), it is incomprehensibly freely given. it makes no sense, and it blows my mind everytime i think about it. you're still willing to forgive me even now?? after all i've done to hurt you, you're finding it in your heart again to forgive me and give me another chance?

gee, pretty emo post. i attribute to my listening of pedro the lion

sometimes i wonder how much longer this will last, when will i wake up to reality and and be free of all the crowns that society places on a pedestal. and yet, and yet.. i fear wot they will think of me.

when they keep telling me, of how strong i'm supposed to be.

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

What Strange Friend You Have II

What Strange Friend You Have II

a fine snap by folkstar.