Wednesday, November 2, 2005

falsettos are notes i'll never reach
that's not true, i do wanna reach them someday. but that's not enough is it? sometimes you wonder if its the best thing that you've ever had, whether its the best you could have done or could you have done more. just what are the limits to us human beings? i'm down to my last few assignments and i feel like throwing in the towel. some you fear are lost causes, and yet.. and yet.. so much has been invested. so many more years of life ahead of me. i can't fail now can i?

it begs the thought though, that if i don't come home with a degree, just what does it say of me? funny how people remember you more for your shortcomings than your achievements, funny how much easier it is to fall from greatbess than to attain greatness. the world we live in can be pretty unforgiving at times, so much so it twists my perception of the grace that died for me sometimes.

may the Lord constantly remind me how free flowing his grace is, while not to be taken for granted (but lets face it, we've treated God like a doormat so many times), it is incomprehensibly freely given. it makes no sense, and it blows my mind everytime i think about it. you're still willing to forgive me even now?? after all i've done to hurt you, you're finding it in your heart again to forgive me and give me another chance?

gee, pretty emo post. i attribute to my listening of pedro the lion

sometimes i wonder how much longer this will last, when will i wake up to reality and and be free of all the crowns that society places on a pedestal. and yet, and yet.. i fear wot they will think of me.

when they keep telling me, of how strong i'm supposed to be.

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