Friday, September 30, 2005

Some Shine Down On Us

Some Shine Down On Us

a fine snap by folkstar.

A snap of a cell leader being appreciated by the members of her cell.

i think everyone in the cell has come a long way since its inception early this year.

Theresa was new to cell leading, and these boys/young men that you see here all started out shy, or quiet.

but its amazing wot God does when he works in the lives of his children.. ive been so blessed to be allowed to be a part of this cell, and you really wanna thank everyone for contributing to each other's lives.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

don't believe a word they say

don't believe a word they say

a fine snap by folkstar.

someone please remind me to go for a jog tomorrow, for i shall probably laze around the house so much so that it doesn't matter to me.

this is wot i fear of the future, that i will be telling everyone about wot i acomplished in the past, because in the future present, that is all i will have.

if i am to age, i would like to age gracefully, not as a has-been. the heart is set on eternal things, not those that fade like wildflowers.

today's mircales are for today's enjoyment. tomorrow leaves its own adventures to be sought.

in the old age, i would sing the songs that matter to me. that portray our vitality more than our impotency. and yes, to share it with loved ones, save we die alone.

glorious ressurection be our hope.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

I Won't Be Here Forever

I Won't Be Here Forever

a fine snap by folkstar.

y'know how we all try to carve out our lives? by liking all these unique possessions, by having all these alternative lifestyles, the envy of our friends, to exist outside society and the status quo so that we are niche, just so we have an identity.

to feed the fear that we are not like anyone else. we wear our branded clothes a certain way, have chic haircuts and sometimes don't tie our laces. we jump on the bandwagon of uniqueness and do yoga, pursue good health because we are concerned.

do we ever stop to think, if wot we're doing, we're ever really at peace with it all?

that the reason why we like certain brands, certain looks, certain ways we carry ourselves, our longing to be different is from the constant fear that we will all die the same way. we will pass through those shadows alone, and we strive so hard to choose the pink life bouy.

in this life, i've seen this side of the darkness. it fazes me, it skewers me perception. i don't want to end up like everyone, and yet i know i will. sometimes i live in that denial, sometimes i accept it with open arms. when really, all i want to do is surrender to the love that is God. to have him take this madness away from me. to hold it all together, that even though its all falling apart, i'm being held together by him.

the thrill of not knowing when these floodgates will open, the peace of resting in his arms. the battles that i should not be fighting for others.. someday it will all come to pass.

do you know wot i mean?

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Saving The World

Saving The World

a fine snap by folkstar.

i miss playing with these guys. leeson has gone thru a few line up changes and band names, but its still essentially a great place of collaboration, exploration, growing up and music.

i've learnt many things playing with bands, in fact, playing in bands has helped me appreciate music on a whole different level then the casual listener. its thought me to appreciate life, and it has given me many good friends as well.

leeson has always been at the forefront of putting out music i'm proud of. when we got the chance to debut ourselves as a new outfit, new sounds and ethos, it was truly a massive privillege.

and the thing i miss most, is the way they've always pushed me to take this whole band buisness in a more serious light. not that its not a barrel of laughs in the meantime. -)

needless to say, there are needles in my pie
i've just gotten back from one class, and have another one in about forty five minutes time. don't really know why i'm bothering to, but i guess i'm just making up for lost time blogging in here. haha, maybe i got abit worried after looking at the drop in attendence since saturday. because there has been a bit of a drop.. meaning people aren't coming. i wonder why, though i'd suppose there would be no reason to drop by a scrappy little blog like this.

y'see, people don't need to be associated with non-celebrities. we like to jump on popularity bandwagons because we become popular by association. well, i'm just saying the insecurities i face sometimes. though i don't suppose it is that harsh.

my pastor's getting married this saturday, and as usual, they are looking to me to videograph the wedding. man, this is like my contribution to the city of perth man. third wedding and still counting. i havent touched a camera since this semester started, but i suppose you never really lose your touch. anyhows, the church has just invested in an editing workstation, so that means i can do my editing there. yay! (in relative terms)

come back to me
i'm back! and i actually wrote a semi-decent entry about the trip, but it got lost in the publishing! so.. i'm too tired to re-do any of it, so you'll have to be content with this.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

a trip to margaret river
won't be back till monday!

Friday, September 23, 2005

Catching People

Catching People

folkstar snapped another mean picture

i recently uploaded a few more of my japan photos onto flickr. it had in november last year, and it seems so long ago. last year seems so long ago.. in fact time seems to have been so long ago. from here till then.. i feel as if i've lived a whole life. and now.. as the crossroads are coming up, i don't feel particularly prepared to face the world just yet.

then again i've never really been prepared. in my sheltered life, i always took things as they came, i never planned, never had a strategy. i always felt that if i did it spontaneously, then it would have been right, more pure, less time to corrupt with my own paranoia.

and then now i stand here at the crossroads, realising i don't have any spare change in my pockets, and where each road leads.

my plan of action would usually be conversation topics. the persona of a travelling musician or sage just came along. it scares me somewhat, wot this world has to throw at us. it feels heartwrenching to be this naked with everyone looking.

it's time to grow up, but i just can't snap out of it.

how to achieve success
lets see now, one outburst. probably not the best way to get yourself heard. but if there's one thing i've learnt, sometimes you've got to hit them hard with a sledgehammer for anyone to listen.

it was a bit unbecoming, nothing gets solved thru mindless shouting.

wot i really wanted to say more was how incredibly displeased i am with the way the authorities are handling the Martyn See case. is it even a case to begin with? the man is being treated like some kind of political enemy of state. for what? making a documentary of Chee Soon Juan, an opposition party leader.

this almost seems less about an issue of freedom of speech, but more like an example of a totalitarian agenda behind singapore.

will this stop more people from voicing out, not voices of discension mind you, but just voices of the alternative, for good open discourse. responsible citizenry who are exposed, educated, given value, told that they matter, that the decisions they make do matter. more than their personal lives, but for the respect we should all hold for members of our country, and then perhaps the world.

we're being treated like primary school kids, except that the stakes are higher.

its not as if Martyn was a school bully, just a guy with a different voice.

in closing, there are better ways to go about with this.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

i don't wanna come back down from this cloud
i suppose this is how i feel better about things.

office friends

"no! paper jam! why does it always say paper jam when there is no paper jam!"

"well, at least your name isn't michael bolton.."

"what if we're fifty, and we're still doing this job?"

"it would be nice to have that sort of job sercurity."

car pool

the opening sequence is absolutely hilarious!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

look at me you wankers!!!
i'm making racist remarks in singapore!!!

oh kay, now that i've gotten the attention of the singaporean authorities into looking at my blog, and probably keeping me under surveillence (sp) for being a threat to national sercurity, or wotever cockbull mother son story, i just wanna say..


it pisses me off, it sickens me that a country i call home has such little respect for the ideas of its own citizens. that here and there, left right and center we're told of wot we can think, wot we can talk about. that if we have wrong thoughts we're gonna get BLOODY ARRESTED. it sickens me to the core that NO ONE can say anything BAD or negative about the POWERS THAT BE.


oh wait, public housing is probably our prisons already. we dare not say anything, there is no more future if the government takes it away from us.


singapore rebel
omeka na huria
third blogger charged

make up your own daymned mind. and yes, ignorance is not bliss.

hope for us all

Missile Mastar

how can anyone not want this t-shirt? order here

based on the game super soviet missile mastar

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

selling the drama
here is an article about the australian church emplying the help of an atheist advertising superstar to help market the image of the church.

wow, you really think you've seen it all. heh~ well, i'll admit, i haven't prayed much about this issue, so i don't think i'll start getting involved with this just yet. it just sounds somewhat overboard y'know? but then again, that might be a religious spirit talking. who knows wot good might come out of this, or wot bad. but we are not at a liberty to judge. critique perhaps, but not judge. if there's anything that i've learnt.

in some verses, Paul goes on to say about wot the fuss is, so long as the gospel is preached. corinthians talks about the wisdom of God being superior to the wisdom of men. i suppose we'll just sit back and slowly watch this one unfold as well. toots!

mornings are fine when you are fine
today in our remarkable morning, i have found out that ben kenney has released a new mp3 entitled "wrong" on his website. a link provided also allowed me free access to three mp3's by the lottery. they are interesting save the least, sort of californian sound going on. quite relaxing. it made me want to listen to the decemberists for some reason. and it all started when i put fugazi on my player.

i think i'm trying to avoid something, but its probably not as bad as it sounds.

Monday, September 19, 2005

doves fly over war-torn streets
sometimes i wished for a little routine in my life. just so that its not so painful, not so much a struggle to allocate bits of my time on a regular basis to regular work. so that my assignments get handed up on time. oh yeah, you're daymn right i wished it weren't so difficult. and this comes at a period in life where we're learning about practical faith and perseverance through trial. no points for guessing my state of being.

primodal soup
i took a break for a short while to figure out where certain things are going

Saturday, September 17, 2005

out of the margin of error
i don't know wot our world has become, i can't tell the difference of whether i'm somewhat displaced, or have already been consumed by it, whilst fighting it. i guess no one really is able to fend off the tendrils that this world throws at us.

not by our own stength.

If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.
- John 15:19

i read it again after a long absence. it used to make sense to me, how're we're called to be different. i don't know if i've been swayed, but i was reading a critical analysis of watchmen character, roscharch, where the critic was explaining that though roscharch was uncompromising in his beliefs and thought he was making a difference, he was already consumed by the same darkness that he battled. that he forgot that he was a part of this world.

i suppose this poses an interesting dichotomy, where beliefs in our own actions, are not enough to warrant our salvation from the darkness.

as i type this out now, it dawns on me much more clearly where salvation and redemption lies. not just in our uncompromising beliefs and actions, but who exactly we put and surrender those beliefs to.

that in this day and age now, someone tells you to "trust me, put your life in my hands." it seems almost silly, because we are the supposed masters of our own lives.

if Jesus has found a way out of this world, i suppose that's our ticket out of the swirling nihilism that plagues some aspects of this existence. where darkness reigns, where lonliness reigns, blindless and empty voids.

come and have abundance in the spirit, and walk in the light as is desired for redeemed souls.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him."
- John 14:6-7

and there you have it, instructions on how to know God himself. creator of all things, the heavens and the earth, the whole universe and all the laws of science and nature that bind us all together. the known and the unknown, of infinite greatness, and holiness. you can know him.

let our faith increase by knowing the one who saved us.

Friday, September 16, 2005

bloggers of past and present
this phenomena has blown out of proportion hasn't it? i think the one thing i can't stand about the online existence, is that people take it too seriously. they put so much of themselves into it that it becomes them. and although the words come after the actions, the actions start being dicatated by our words, as our so-called personalities reaches audiences far and wide. in that sense, the projected image of ourselves adds more weight on our weary shoulders.

and if culture like this continues to permeate the blogosphere (or wotever word the folks have come up with), cyberspace in general is not that far off from becoming as an anime like ghost in the shell portrays it. we become so connected, that virtual reality becomes a part of reality, or is reality.

do you get wot i'm trying to say? we're taking things toooooooooooooo seriously. tell me i'm not alone on this, not alone in the last bastion of harmlessness.

in my previous post, i said that humans die. blogs should dies as well. it has become the monster we created, and it seeks a life of its own.

still, i enjoy reading rockson.

seen the dark underbelly of the world and chose to be a parody of it.

oh brave ones
who gets away with it? the charmers, people who make you believe that everything is alright, put your faith in them. ignorance is bliss. amidst the spiralling decay of this world, we either embrace safety or complete destruction.

and they get away with it, they hold power in their hands in this life. but in our deaths we are all the same, death is the great equaliser for all men.

so we try to prolong life, we strive for immortality. we breed clones, organ farms, computer banks to store our conciousness. we want to live forever because that is our weakness. death is the ultimate weakness of humanity. the power of life is also its disempowerment because it is so fragile. like a candle that that wisps away.

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. what good is it for a man if he gains the whole world but forfeits his soul?
- Matthew 16:25-26

and then death comes as a phase, faith in the afterlife. faith in the ressurection of our Lord Jesus Christ.

lately, i just don't feel like i belong here, and rightly so. we cannot serve both God and money.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

the nanny state with their file on you
it riles me. i guess we're really fighting the downhill battle. so long as the laws are not on our side, we'll always be outlaws.

it intrigued me, then disturbed after i read this

racist comments were made on singaporean blogs, and the owners of those blogs were arrested under charges of sedition.

i suppose the line between an online existence and real life is slowly getting blurred. those of us who commune online are slowly getting our identities exposed. as vigilantes, the world now wants to put a face to our annoynominity.

is this wot we are to accept? that there will come, or there already is a time when people take the online realm so seriously that cybercrimes that affect cyberspace, is seen as affecting physical space already?

this blog may not see the new day, because it would seem that not everything is harmless. guess we predicted the future wrong.

before you know it, even in chatrooms, or conversations you would have to watch your words. for there is no more outlet to be yourself, to truely voice your feelings whether right or wrong, conservative or extremist, no more debate, no more arguement, because even in our most private moments, we are accountable to our society.

it scares me somewhat, this so called wild frontier of the internet is slowly being colonised, civilised as boundaries of beurocracy is laid in its culture. because man fears wot it does not know.

we are being consumed, and it scares me. is creative commons a losing battle? has everyone lost the will to fight? soon we'll have to pay for every byte of information we upload or download. your blanket isp plan can't protect you forever.

spurious by far
the regularity of these updates have sacrificed a desire to blog. somewhat. wow, i've been doing this for so long now i'm starting to feel a little bored. but then again, its only a little while later where my narcissistic self decides i'd like to share some semblance of my life with you guys.

geee, i think i've got some sorta problem, wanting to be acknowledged.

it makes you wonder though, whether we all live with that longing. even if its not people who acknowledge us, whether we just need to fill that void.

for example, aquiring material wealth because we project our emptiness on it, and when we acquire it, the object acknowledges us.

pets acknowledging their owners.

why do people go off to the mountains, seeking solitude? i guess by ridding oneself of distractions, false truths that don't measure up, we can hope to find something that will acknowledge us. the bible says "seek and you shall find". wot are we seeking today? to make the world a better place, seek a better life for our family and friends?

i suppose we do need to ask ourselves wot we're seeking, and then wot?

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

this side of the globe
we don't necessarily apologise for the lack of updates yesterday, but the reason was i got so sick of the internet i just couldn't face the idea of blogging. how does one get sick of the internet? when you're on it too much. alas, it's now lunch time and i bear gifts!

the complete season of exo squad here.

Monday, September 12, 2005

change everything about the flood
it's a good thing i don't have all power vested in me, for i would smite all the shallowness and social retardacy i've experience and am experiencing. haha, thanks, just had to get that out of my system.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

cloudless attempts to heaven
i'm trying to type something down but i feel absolutely dry. like there's almost nothing that's particularly on my heart that i wanna share. so lets just freely type and see wot happens. nothing might happen for all we know, but so long as i keep this up, something does flow.

hurmmmm.. it is very irritating to lead you on like this. because there really isn't anything worth reading here, and still you're reading it. crazy indeed.

i guess its because i just didn't do much today, played for worship so that meant an early start. had lunch, and came home to sleep. and somehow i find myself here again. nothing worth reporting, nothing that's particularly weighing in my heart.

guess i'll lie lonely in my bed tonight. oh wait, they returned my bolster -)

Saturday, September 10, 2005

please don't stop as the band marches on
i'm gonna be really busy today, but i think its going to be so much fun! just got back from a prayer meeting in the morning. and God was just so comforting. gives me strength for the rest of the day and week! band practice later as then off to church for worship practice. and today is huifu's birthday, so we're going to alvin's place for a party! and there's a sixpack waiting in my car! stellar!

Friday, September 9, 2005

kena tekan one times jialat jialat

Birthday 013

folkstar snapped another mean picture

wah lau eh!! kena sabo on my birthday!!! sibek tekong lorr.. *pui* still got flour in my mouth. biang eh!! and that's just barely scratches the surface of wot they did to me! they glad wrapped -all- the personal belongings in my room. and then they also took -all- my clothes and locked them in a suitcase with a combination lock. after an hour or so, i realised that the number was *** i shouldn't be devulging this right? this person's secret would have to be safe with me, OR can use to sabo next time as well.

wowww.. still in a state of shocked. and no one has asked for my bolster yet!!! WHERE IS HE????

biang leh!!!

Thursday, September 8, 2005

They Threaten Us

They Threaten Us

folkstar snapped another mean picture

Ohhh.. so now the festivities have begun. as you can see, my church friends in perth have started to commemorate my birthday.

Wednesday, September 7, 2005

there's a psychic in my soup!

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything.
You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey.
You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

waddya mean it should be? it already is!

don't blame the sea monster
was just visiting kinetic just now, and am feeling bloody inadequate as a blogger. in fact, i almost detest that word. it connotates no skill wotsoever in webdesign, and full of hot-air.

they say a picture paints a thousand words, i'm just full of hot air. gahhhh!!!

anyhows, there is unprecedented media coverage of hurricane katrina. sometimes we forget that oil prices are rising sharply and wot's really going on in the middle east. but hey, wotever sells the news. 1=2 we hope that you choke.

Tuesday, September 6, 2005

no remands for the blue skies
just somewhat reminded of the heart we're supposed to have. y'see, being christians, we follow a moral code somewhat, freedom within boundaries as some of us like to call it these days. i do believe in freedom within boundaries, simply because it protects us, as individuals, or as social beings. in fact, perhaps wot would dissuade from that notion would be utter nihilism or anarchy.

we are all in the downward spiral, we are all the darkest and blackest evil, we should not look toward self improvement, but rather self destruction for that is when we are truly alive.

but yes, i'm bringing up the point of the heart we're supposed to have, because i was just thinking to myself the other day, when sometimes as a christian i feel so left out, or missing out on certain fleshly desires. even more so, sometimes even within our own christian families, we have that "i told you so" mentality.

guess its more so of that mentality that sparked off my alarm bells. because sometimes i can be so intent on proving my thoughts, or theories right, that when finally someone acknowledges my supposed superiority, it can get really moralistic and self-righteous.

i'm right and you're wrong.

i deserve to go to heaven, and you don't.

oh man.. how many times have we ever felt that way? how many times did we not show the same mercy that Jesus himself extended to the thief that was crucified with him that day? when its almost our final vindication, that we suffer and toil for our Lord for that reward. and sometimes, some people who've got it easy in the sense that they did not go thru wot you did, still find the same salvation.

Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise."
Luke 23:43

there is no human price tag on salvation. it was fully paid by Jesus's death on the cross, lest we forget. that even, even the person who's always made fun of your faith, been a thorn in your side, ridicules you in front of many, and becomes a christian by the sharing of someone else (like you couldn't even be the one to turn him around). we should rejoice. we should rejoice despite all our own inadequecies, even the times we try to be God and administer salvation to our friends or enemies just so it makes us better christians.

we ought to rejoice, that our Lord has overcome all these petty squabbles.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

Monday, September 5, 2005

white washes to be damp again
the observatory have just released mp3s of some of their b-sides and side projects here. being a proponent of filesharing as well as sporean music, please enjoy -)

i know i'm gonna get myself a copy of blank walls when i get back. save me one!

leeson has also begun talks about our plans over the next break.

may fled is practicing hard for the EP launch.

it's nice to be at the center of it all.

Sunday, September 4, 2005

don't wake me up when its over
alright, my whole body is aching after playing soccer the entire afternoon. just am in pretty bad shape before and after. hahaha! couldn't even drive back properly just now.

did you know that the observatory has their own blog? blank walls here.

and recently, i've been listening to a fair amount of basement jaxx.

Saturday, September 3, 2005

many people died today
yes, i think i did it. i destroyed whole planets with my bass playing today. had so much fun at band practice today. we're practicing for our EP launch on the 8th of october. if you're free that saturday night, we're going to play the swan basement with resonance (NSW), insidium,and tragic delicate. still working out when the doors open.

anyhow, we tried out two new guitar players today, and one of them really rocked my socks. he was a thirty seven year old guitarist that just had some of the warmest tones comin' out from his twin reverb, plus he was only playing thru a wah and a tubescreamer! hopefully he likes us enough to wanna play with us, because he really adds a distinct sound to an otherwise rojak band. heh~

destroying planets restores my faith in our music.

steadfast in our sorrow
i guess no matter how far down a line we've seen things thru, it's still natural for a person to cringe. we're human like that.

you won't because i never told you
isn't it sad that you find yourself attracted to someone only because it helps you forget the past a little bit?

history repeating itself in vicious cycles -) oh how i love the drama!

Friday, September 2, 2005

recovering the sounds lost in cityscapes
well, i just think that a lot of things get lost before the move past our lips. many things don't get said, and it's all these unspoken words that somehow find their way to action. and we see the devestation all around us.

i just want to pick up my bass and destroy a whole planet with it right now.

Thursday, September 1, 2005

down on your knees
i've been staring into the cracks for far too long now. when you look at it long enough, you only see the dirt, the grime, the soft moist moss that grows and takes over the harsh rock. the crack's just a sharp line in the grand structure, but there's so much life growing out of the lifeless. we're all just living in the cracks of this universe, unable to see just how massive it all is.. becau..

Tracy snaps me out of my daze. cold fingers touch my neck.

"What's the matter?"

"Ever get the feeling that somehow, we're going to get out of this alive?"

"I don't know. i don't ever think that far. Just one day at a time."

I'm glad Tracy's here. she really can't be bothered with me, but having some company passes the time well. every day that i hope, she lives. sometimes she reminds me of life, and i remind her of hope. one can't do without the other i guess.

we could both be staring at rocks together, but she chooses to listen to the sound of her breathing. tries to remember how she breathed her first breath. that one instinctual flaw in our physique that immeditately starts the countdown to our last breath. which breeds the question, that if you stopped breathing, could you live forever?

i lie down on her lap. it makes me feel safe. like lying in my mother's bossom. beyond the bars, we both feel the sun's warm rays touch our feet. eight minutes too late.

burn out the sun
it takes eight minutes for the sun's rays to hit the earth. can you imagine, that if the sun were to burn out, we'd only find out eight minutes later? so much for the sun.

don't think there's much to update you with today. things kind of came and went, there's an essay due monday, so gotta get started on that pretty soon. and i might just go fall asleep now.