Wednesday, December 31, 2003

hang on
happy new year everyone! drop by again like a halo.

i should've been born a fighter pilot
"With increased agility comes the problem of the force of gravity, or g-force, the stress applied to a pilot's body when the airplane maneuversat high speed. G-force causes blood to drain down from the brain temporarily, extingusihing vision or even conciousness. Several weeks after my virtual flight in the F/A-22, Maj. Beau "Ripple" Booth gives me a lesson in g-force during a real flight in the Air Force's F-16 Fighting Falcon when he yanks us into a turn at 500 knots. My gravity suit 's air bladders inflate against my legs to counteract the blood pushing downward. I also begin the prescribed training maneuver--holding a deep breath and flexing every muscle in my body. But he takes us to the brink of 9 g's, which crushes me in my seat as if i weighed three-quarters of a ton. I can't take it. Vision fades to darkness, and I begin to pass out. He eases off. I come back disorientated and nauseated, my sight returning as chatoic pinwheels and checkerboards."

wings of change - michael klesius, national geographic dec 2003

Monday, December 29, 2003

from the purple abyss
rises the strongest turtle of all!
it's worse than him mooning you

instructions: this is a flash-mob, copy this picture and paste it on your blog/webbie thing.

ears ringing drowing out all the idle thoughts
i like plugging myself into music just so i can stop the banter in my brain. someones always got something better to say than me, even if its in japanese. drowns everything out, some things i just don't need to hear. fear? maybe. insecurity? maybe. useless? probably. uncertainty? you gottit. we're here now, and that's all that matters. some can't find a reason to push on, and even if you couldn't, you live on. is there a reason why our heart still pumps blood through our veins as our cells disintigrate? i'd like to think that if there were a resolution, then yes, there would be a reason. we're not too different you and i. we probably ask the same questions, heard the same answers, believe differently but ultimately write rubbish when asked upon. i leave you with this resolution.

everything before five minutes ago is forgettable
i'm losing my knack of blogging. i probably can't remember the 21 steps to brew coffee even if it could cure genital warts. so the family was watching hollow man on the telly, and i couldnt listen to my mp3s because of that. but i can't really complain much, because its not my house, or my computer. in fact nothing is mine, and i'm nothing. hell, someone should just strip me and hang me up a flag pole declaring wot a useless twip i am. so my mom was kinda baby-talking me just now too. sometimes i dont mind, tonight i did. i mean.. i didn't respond. do i have to? mebbe, i probably owe her and everyone else too much. our circles are just too overlapped. but i can't remember when i didnt think it mattered. it hurts as much then as it does now.

Saturday, December 27, 2003

a walk thru the clouds
ooh kay, they were trees. i didn't know that there was an ariel walk in the fort canning area. a jog/walk with my dad yielded the expedition this morning. oh , it was amazing, it was like.. walking in another world. to be amongst the trees, and feel as if you're treading lightly on leaves. oh, and there was this tree nursury where the national park board grows sapplings. baby trees are pretty cute, i can imagine them being all envious of their elder brothers and asking all sorts of inane questions like : will i be as big and strong as you?

total eclipse of the gut
i'm bloody stuffed. a buffet lunch at coca's and a buffet dinner at the orient hotel. i didn't know i had this much capacity to eat one supply drop of food for the starving children in somalia. anyhow, i'm quite sore i got so many dates wrong, and in the process didn't attend nic's birthday party or mitty's dinner party. but i also guess you can only be at one place at one time.

on another note, the brian morgan 2003 2-disc compilation has been released. place orders if you didn't recieve.

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

popping an electric toothbrush into your mouth and staring at the computer yields interesting observations.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

strange news from another star
we're at kunz's place now recording some songs.

none quite as beautiful
i think people have stopped coming by because i have no pictures. who would be interested in the writing style of a mediocre random yab who can't even spell right? oh, i beat myself up too much, but it gives me a sense of peace somewhat.

i will get pictures one day.
usually just lazy to scour eternity for them
with a scowl on my face

the band is recording again today. thomas tells me it's going well, and i really am grateful that they're waiting for me to finish my parts. it really means alot to me to be able to do this. part of the process of getting my act together.

Monday, December 22, 2003

i'm back from camp. i won't say it wasn't an elevator express to heaven, but rather grounding. and well, being in spore, going back to australia.. you know, you're back in the real world. you gotta live it. so you gotta take the lessons learnt, and apply it, live it. daymn, i'll talk later, i need dinner.

Thursday, December 18, 2003

jilted lovers playing numbers - gt
i kinda realise you can't escape it all the time. i'm back, but thing's are kinda where i left them. and if i change them, i'm shaping the world. i don't want to be God in that sense. but i'd like to be like him in love. accepting.

i dídn't come back with answers. i read, and everyone seems to be growing, while i seem to be devolving. i'm breaking it down when it's being built up. and yet, there is courage to endure and love. to feel some semblance of peace.

i have some unifinished buisness. i don't wanna call up my uni office and check why i got an N for introduction to screen studies for. i don't wanna know the truth, that i might have mucked up my final paper after doing above average for my assignments. i don't wanna retake the unit, and i don't wanna not be able to do a double major. i don't wanna be a washout.

but tomorrow comes anyhow. this is how you've got to face it. there are other things to look forward to. a my dark star ep, brian morgan's top 13 deviant tracks of 2003, a christmas that makes sense and a step closer to the end. to completion.

but it's not my kinda scene, oh yeah... - powderfinger

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

long time, coming
oh man, i apologise. it has been so long. i checked the sitemeter and traffic to my blog has halved. come back everyone! return to me! well, i'm not gonna sound like a total insecure dickwat, just because i've been away since the ninth. i went to the philipines for a mission trip. man, i tell you, it was a great experience.. i guess it really opened my eyes to alotta things. i'm not gonna chit-a-chat about it, hopefully, i'll walk the talk. *grin*

anyhoos, i'm back. but ive gotta church camp from morrows till sunday. hope to post some pictures up soon once i recieve them all! in the meantime everyone, spread the cheer! because in the end, everything is harmless.

Friday, December 5, 2003

hiding in the darkness
gosh, i've really been stuffing myself on the local delicacies since coming back. and haha.. i havent had the spontaniality to go for one of those mega jogs. i just wake up not feeling it. i'm in ultra-slacker mode. and i'm not complaining about that. just that those love handles look kinda unsightly. 21 and love handles? shouldn't you be at your prime? well, no sense mucking around. just gonna have to try harder tomorrow morning.

Thursday, December 4, 2003

i've forgotten the words
to the song. to the things i've wanted to say. to fractal bits and pieces of absolute truth. to the things you should hear. to the memories of our past. to a perfect synposium. to describing the immense bleakness of our universe. to making you feel alive. to warm your heart. to remind us we're still alive. that mean so much. to the language of our souls.

blood rains on a perfect white
© Pete Stone 2002

i was watching three seasons last night, and yeah.. vietnam looks like a beautiful place. of course it was overly-romanticsed, but i think for a country to have survived the american occupation. i dunno, a part of me just wants to see and hear. taste, smell and touch. step out of my box. life's not just about music. and rockstar glamour. haha, i guess i just wanna see wot the rest of asia is like. its not about looking elsewhere for answers. its wanting to experience, not to boast, but to learn. you learn something new everyday.

but watching radiohead perform, makes you want to be rockstars.

Tuesday, December 2, 2003

a progression of instant beats
it looks like its going to rain. again. gahhh.. i come back and get this? rain? if every raindrop were a penny, it'd make sense. and hurt like hell. so yeah, i'm stupid. not stupid in the intelligence department. just stupid with a bad memory. i forgot to take my conference tag, and had to go all the way back home to collect it. yeah, and then i decided to take a nap (even though i slept early at 12). so i'll be headed to the conference at 3. i won't forget my tag this time. but i'll probably just forget something else. one thing has to lead to another. i had a wicked dream last night, it felt kinda real, and i think it was playing with my subconciious obsessions. and then even when i napped, i had another realistic dream. probably another obsession. jeepers creepers, i scare the shite out of myself even when i don't try.

on another note, i don't intend to stuff myself silly on local food as i did yesterday. but, that sin of indulgence, just seems so right.

Monday, December 1, 2003

journey to the center of the earth
so i'm attending the fever 100 conference for missions. everything has kinda been going into fast forward ever since i got back, but i reckon that this conference is helping put God into perspective. also feel as if, someone's been praying for my heart to be more mallable, because i could actually think "well, i may have thought about that before, but i guess i'm not exempted from wot this speaker is saying with regards to my life."

so anyhow, my missions team decided to attend the creative arts workshop. where the teacher challenged us to worship God out of the box. thru words, plastersine, paint, mosiac or crayons. i chose words, crayons and plastersine. well, the fella in charge of the words liked a lil something that i wrote. and when the teacher asked if any caught his fancy, i was one of the two he pointed out. he named the first girl whom he quoted from, but he didnt say my name. he did however tell me before that he found it creative. and him being a lit teacher before, he shared he used to write on the chalkboards "human being. being human". and yeah, score one for sjsm! ailing got picked twice for something that a station master liked! she scored in the crayons and plastersine. haha, good to know our church was creative (but then, we were probably the older ones in the workshop =p)

haha, anyhow. i forgot the excitement when someone actually acknowledges your craft. that's wot the station master ian did for me. and well he didnt say my name, or acknowledge me to the worshop, it was good.. because i think God knew that if that happened, my ego would just swell to no end. and i'd be more concerned with how my words can be special to God, then him being the simple pleasure to everything around me. but still, i was acknowledged in a humble way, and i guess.. that was God's lil present for me today.