Tuesday, December 25, 2007

how i like my women (and maybe get a higher ping.sg rating)

women can be said to be a lost art. i'll let my muse, anna karina speak in my stead..

roller girl


ne dis rien

christmas and the looking back

hello to those of you who still read my blog.

i say so because i see my technorati ranking dropping every time i check this blog, and i know the sporadic bursts of blogging just isn't helping much.

plus the content really is more like a penny for your thoughts than exciting developments in the new media space. but at least i know, i'm not blogging for readership, and i'm not the least bit interesting to the masses, just the ones that count. -)

i don't know if that makes this blog statistically unappetising, and therefore cannot be worth its weight in digital influence, but i guess everything that i've ever done with this blog, are my thoughts straight to you, whoever you may be -) and if you take something away from it, then i'm glad, and hope you can do the same for someone else, one step at a time -)

and so, as a brief glimpse into my current state of being, i think Ryan Adams says it best with this little number

i thought myself how to grow old


Poor little rose, beaten by the rain
In the wind in the gale, thunder and the hail
Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane
Without the numbness or the pain so intense to feel
Especially now it added up through the years
And I, I taught myself how to grow
Without any love and there was poison in the rain
I taught myself how to grow
Now I'm crooked on the outside, and the inside's broke

Most of the time I got nothing to say
When I do it's nothing and nobody's there to listen anyway
I know I'm probably better off this way
I just listen to the voices on the TV 'til I'm tired
My eyes grow heavy and I fade away

'Cause I, I taught myself how to grow
Without any love and there was poison in the rain
I taught myself how to grow
'Til I was crooked on the outside
I taught myself how to grow
Without any love and there was poison in the rain
I taught myself how to grow
'Til I was crooked on the outside, inside's caved
Crooked on the outside, inside's caved
Crooked on the outside, inside's caved
I taught myself how to grow old


yeah, just feeling a bit old at the end of this year, i've done so much, and i'm thankful for every opportunity, both good and bad things that have come my way. i feel like i've grown so much that somehow, while turning 25 felt old for awhile, 25 feels like such a young age, because i feel as if i've just hit 30. my musical tastes have matured, my responsibilities have grown a lot larger, i've played a number of shows and recorded at least 5 recording sessions. leeson has just been invited to audition for Baybeats'08 and we're starting the year off with Stasis 10 amidst some very respectable peers such as vertical rush, you and whose army? and b quartet, plus i've met a lot of great and wonderful people this year, and it doesn't look like it's gonna let up anytime soon either -) don't get me wrong, i'm very thankful.. and i'm welcoming my break this week.

i think if there's anything i'm looking for next year, it's direction, and where to channel my efforts

Sunday, December 23, 2007

i haven't done bible study in awhile

"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"
- Mark 8:35-37


i was reading a friend's blog entry, and i originally wanted to twitter "i can't seem to write beautifully anymore." and somehow this verse, i somehow remembered. what good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?

perhaps there are things in our lives, that we live in regret with, lacking in various areas, mountains we can't climb, missions we can't accomplish. or for some of us, maybe we've fought and won certain battles, and yet.. you know intrinsically that a part of you isn't there in the celebration.

you may scoff at the first section of the verse as some sort of "new age spiritual bullshite", but i think it's rather true. if you hold on too much to something, you will undoubtedly lose it, only because everything is so transient in this world. even our lives.. we all have to die some day, you can do all you want to prolong your life, but you will ultimately lose.

only when you don't hold on to it so much, does it then free you up to do what you were meant to do as people who are alive. we were meant to live.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

At a wedding dinner


Our secondary school classmate Shien got married to her sweetheart, Jason today. I'm wishing them all the best and that such love will continue to grow till the end of the world

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Christmas Came Early!


My boss got me this for Christmas! Freakhog awesome!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Is the party over?


No! It aint! We'll see you on the other side people :)

Friday, December 14, 2007

Under the table and dreaming


Live from the American Express LIVE Platinum Urban Flavors party. It's beautiful under the Cannery's canopy. It's a party exclusively for American Express Platinum members and their guests, or unless you happen to be an invited member of the media. Haha, yay.. Just a few of my job perks :)

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

how embedding a Leeson video evolved my videoblogging experience

i used to be a production student, and so i was trained to shoot video in the highest possible format, and also be technical in the way i approached my cinematography, production, what format to shoot on, what format to export to and all the things that go in between. i shan't say i'm very good, but i guess i wasn't too shabby either.

anyway, fast forward a year, i find myself in the PR industry as opposed to production, and i found myself still holding on to those processes. i'd want to edit with professional software like Final Cut Pro or Adobe Premeire Pro, but getting my hand on the software and hardware was an issue altogether, i just wasn't earning enough to equip myself with a semi-professional studio.

enter: my epiphany that social media has flourished because processes were simpler.

my ethos now, to borrow Masamune Shirow's Appleseed quote: functional simplicity, structural complexity

i want technology that works. at the push of a button, processes are automated, a product of high quality through the automation process, and then perhaps an improvement of a process when customised by the human touch.

anyway, my point is this, after i decided on this, i ditched trying to get my HD camcorder to work with my offline editing programme, and got a video recording of my band's performance through my point-and-shoot digital camera, which records a compressed .avi file. after which, i edited in Windows Movie Maker, exporting to a .wmv format, and then using a video converter, i converted it into a .mp4 format. Which is now ready to be hosted on youtube.


Absolute Beginners

and the good that came out of this, is that my video converter is my new maxim in wonderful ones and zeros. it converts most formats (.flv .avi .mpg) into .mp4 which seems to be the language of ipods, mobile phones, mobile devices, portable media players and video hosting sites such as youtube.

the complexity of social media, powered by a single "convert now!" button on this beautiful piece of software. i now enjoy videos on the go through my ipod, from stuff i've downloaded off the net. next up, figuring out how video podcasting works in syncing with my ipod, and perhaps starting my own vodcast! we'll see..

Sunday, December 9, 2007

primrose, the proper tomato

maybe you know the answer to this, why i haven't been updating of late, but i suppose that the correct answer would be that i haven't the time these days.. which is rather astounding, considering the frequency which i used to post in the past few years.

anyway, my mind's a blank, sorry i can't add much value to this post, but if you must know, my busy-ness has not been in naught. you can find the fruits of a recording session here at www.myspace.com/leesonsg. the new leeson song is called "absolute beginners", you'll love it. i know these things.

one point brilliance has also finished recording another song, so maybe that will be available soon as well -)

i've also been getting into the nextmen's latest single: something's got you





and if you haven't gotten your hands on joe henry's latest album, civilians, check his EPK out here with a stellar performance of "time is a lion"

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Meetings are fun!


Live demo of moblogging

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Leave it all behind


Sometimes i wonder why my neighbours bought a shoe rack if this is the state it's in. And it's freaking messing up our walkway!

death by powerpoint

wanna give a better powerpoint presentation? so do i.. i'm no expert, so i'll let alexi kapterev do the honours:

yes. do yourself a favour and go thru this deck. it's literally painless!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

saint sea hart!

just shut up and watch this. then laugh your suspenders off...

Sunday, November 11, 2007

could there be? really?

hello. i'm back, from a long while.. haven't personally updated this blog for quite a while despite the intermittent moblogs from my trust k800i.

well, it actually feels very foreign typing in here because i haven't logged in since who knows when.. in fact, the very act of jotting my thoughts down here makes no sense to me. how did i do it for more than three years?

the reasons for my absence can be perhaps due to just not spending time at home for the past two weeks. something suffers, content suffers.. i could talk to you more about social media, or some other cool theories and practices that have been developing from within the blogosphere, but the links on the right probably do a much better job than this blog ever does

but i suppose one thing, no one else can do on their blogs, is to share about my life.. this is the only blog there is out there, and it is an extension of me saying "hello" to you. so for all it's worth, hello

it's been a good and busy two weeks, i've played gigs, for worship, been doing some good work in the office, meeting both new and old people.. it's tremendous seeing how everyone's growing up, being a part of life. not actually watching on the outside, but really living

and after our gig today, i'm really so thankful that i've had the opportunity to play with great great friends and fellow musicians.. i mean, wow.. i could have had a hobby collecting stamps, but God gave me the insane opportunity to actually play music with dear friends, to people who actually like our stuff! WOW, i'm really counting my blessings for this one, it's the things that make me believe that this life wasn't an accident, and that He really has a great plan for all of us. yet, we've all abandoned it for something that we think suits us better.

the funny thing about faith, is that you don't just charge into it blindly with guns blazing hoping to hit something. that's as good as the vending machine god, or the talisman god that you hope for to prosper and protect your life.

though nothing wrong with that, those aren't the reasons why we believe. if they were, then.. well.. we might as well just be waiting for the next best thing. i realised that in the past few months of my living, i've been like a reed in the water, just going with the tide, and while the "come what may" approach to life usually is a comfort zone, i think there needs to be some discomforting, to hit the next level, to truly see as He sees, the good things He has in store for us.

i don't know why i'm veering into this direction for this post, i guess things have been weighing on my heart, things that need fixing, things that need healing, things that need celebrating. i just want to go through this life, living it for Him, for that one purpose, the only thing that makes sense and matters. because it touches you deeper than any of your five senses, past your physical entity, past your emotions, your perceptions, something that shakes you at the very core of your being. and it's more than just a good feeling. i challenge you, just because you feel it, doesn't mean it's there.

have you ever been in a place, that is the very core of who you are, your existence, your identity, that makes you who you are. the 'person' you were born with, not what you've become over the years. yes, back to that place, back to where it all started, perhaps the moment you were conceived, or even back to the plan eons ago.. He knew you by name, knows the number of hairs on your head.

i could keep ranting, but i don't know if it would make any more sense.. i've shoveled so much of myself away since coming back to singapore, and yet i know.. who i am is in there somewhere, amidst all the crap and junk that fills my heart. i think it needs a scraping of the inside till there's nothing left.. just like i prayed years ago, just so that it can be filled the way it was meant to be filled

i guess, if it means something to you.. your journey begins when you want it to

Strange sights around town


Seriously, No seriously?

Saturday, November 10, 2007

A local scene


Vertical Rush @ Scape Studios. Looks like a pretty kickass place to hold a gig, but i'd love to see more people moving. Where do you go to immerse yourself in local culture?

Ah Balling Peanut Soup


Life is really so much simpler when you know what to eat. Black sesame and peanut paste dumplings in peanut soup.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Life by the horns


We're growing up way too fast.. no time to be who we are

Friday, October 26, 2007

new look and finally! an update!

no, it's not writers' block, it's just that i've been rather busy between the last sit-down post and this one.

i'm marred that the only real time i get to sit down and fill this blank white space, is when i have no activities and can actually sit in front of the computer and do stuff.

and i've done stuff, such as changing the look of this blog to colours which make me feel more comfortable, and perhaps reflect my state of mind. white goes rather well with black don't you think? colours as expression are usually overrated, i see this as a black and white canvas, especially when it comes to text.

text should be black on white, or vice versa.

so between our last conversation and this one, i've done a couple of things. firstly, i'm constantly updating my links. if there's one thing that i've loved about the internet, is that it allows me to share. now, i'm usually not bothered to update my blogroll or links list on the right, so if you want to know what's been appealing to me on the internet, check the del.icio.us cloud on the right and click on a tag that piques your curiosity. that usually gets updated regularly when i'm surfing the net at work, and if you want, add me to your network and share some links with me too. i really heart del.icio.us

i'm still trying to figure out what the problem is with my HV-20 and why adobe premiere does not recognise it as a camera device.

one thing that has been of interest and keeping me busy the past week has been the National Drug Abuse's latest anti-drug campaign, if you play, you pay it's nice summarised in this article here by the Straits Times Interactive. there's also a video at the bottom left of the page where i'm interviewed about the blogger involvement in this project.

two such bloggers are estee and dk

the story has been picked up on tomorrow.sg and singapore daily, two singaporean aggregation sites worth your while if the net ever seems a bit too much to trawl. it was also one of the top posts on ping.sg, a singaporean version of digg. and from my end, i think that is pretty good coverage for something that hasn't particularly been plugged to death by mainstream media.

other things that have been hot, and i've been watching closely as well are repeal 377a vs. keep 377a. it's nicely tracked by singapore daily, so do stop over if you want to bring yourself up to speed about its developments. and in case you've been in the woods, the government has decided to keep the law in place, making it illegal for homosexual men to be caught having sex.

i'm still saving up for my black mac book, which i hope to purchase at the end of the year, and maybe a canon 400D kit after that.

daniel and i have also been busy getting our 2007 mix cd just right for our close friends, and it's also an annual project which we do to summarise the year in music, what got us excited, and basically a platform to share the joy.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Folding Lives


I know i Havent been updating much on this blog lately, but i think when you've spent the past week going to work and having band practice or meeting friends in the evening, whatever bright ideas you've had about a blog topic go strangely out the window. Which is why i'm glad for moblogging because it still retains the spontaneous spirit in which i usually blog with. So well, stick around and keep reading. I really hope to find some time soon to talk about a few developments in communications, what gets me excited and why i still enjoy blogging even! But if you're a vouyer, just add me on facebook and subscribe to my delicious links! Subscribe to my RSS feed and sync it to your mobile phone to receive real time updates as well :)

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Steps Ascending


On a lift to nowhere fast, our wombs bake in the anticipation of all there is to come. Fall and break your bones, piece yourself back together, the undue return for righting all wrongs in this life for the next, and they wont even remember your name except for the one who called you by.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

damn straight it's about the content! and LEESON IS BACK!!!

i should be sleeping. i should have blogged over the past week. i should have done a lot of things.

well, as much as this blog has been a faithful companion to me through the years, it's going to fizzle out if i don't feed it content.

in fact, that's the same thing for almost every other blog, keeping blogging, don't stop, search for your readers and they will come searching for you.

well, it's been pretty busy on my side of the world, i have a press conference tomorrow morning, and i've just finished promoting my band's gig on facebook, and now i'll start with this post

for those of you not on facebook, check out the official leeson website here and sign up for the the mailing list.

we also have a myspace page where we showcase our music. they're all old songs, but they should hook you in to gasp more for our new material. leeson myspace if you're on myspace, do add us as your contact too!

the story so far: Leeson's last gig as a full band was almost two years ago. we're back and are going to concentrate on putting out music that will have your feet undoubtedly shuffling and your hands flailing maniacally. that's usually a good thing

our big comeback show is at the ever awesome Home Club at 1030pm this Friday, 19th October

i couldn't think of a better place than Home, where the drinks are good, the company is better and the live music and DJs are the best! my brightest star in local music, styra spins with Joe Ng for BEAT! every friday night, and its such an honour that they'll be spinning after us!

so come down! tell all your friends! put it on your blogs, Facebooks, Twitters and in your forums!

with all our love,

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

vote for Theory. Is The Reason!

okay, i really have to support one of the coolest people i know. virtually.

haha, i actually got to know of kevin lim's blog, theory is the reason by sheer luck while surfing ping.sg, but the quality of his content always kept bringing me back to his blog. i must admit, communications theory has always intrigued me, and maybe that's why i'm also currently doing what i'm doing, engaging people on the online space.

i was initially inspired to blog by two bloggers, yongfook and styra back in 2003, but lately it's been kevin that really inspires me to always think of the future of communications and what possibilities lie across the horizon.

so i must admit that i was stoked when i read this off his blog. a blogging scholarship! support kevin's work! vote now!

Monday, October 8, 2007

how web 2.0 is changing the internet - videos!

hey gang, for those of you who are rather astute, you'll noticed that i've finally added an RSS subscription button, and here to tell you all about it are the kind folk from the common craft.



and you'll also notice on the sidebar, my del.icio.us account. if you want to know why del.icio.us is one of my favourite web 2.0 applications, watch this video at your own peril!



i hope these videos helped you in your adoption of the more recent web 2.0 applications, and how you can use them to your benefit if you're running a more professional blog, or even a social one. it doesn't really matter, just think of the new ways you can connect to your readers!

and if you're an avid RSS user like myself, please subscribe to my feed! haha, because heaven knows i've probably already subscribed to yours!

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Beat!


At Beat! With the Tham and they're playing Arcade Fire's No Cars Go!!!

Friday, October 5, 2007

Adieu Averil


This is Averil and it's her last day at Ogilvy Public Relations. She has a 100 percent success rate of sneaking up on me in the office and scaring the bejeebus out of me. Ill miss her, because she's cool enough to laugh at lolcats and perry bible fellowship comics, and i haven't had the displeasure of working with her. Hehehe..

Save a Black Labrador Puppy Today!

Okay guys, my director just forwarded something through our network today so it isn't some hoax. There are 6 black labrador puppies that were rescued, washed and de-liced and are looking for a home now. if no one comes for them, they will sadly be put down. it breaks my heart.. i would if i could be a better dog owner, but i'm not. plus they really do look gorgeous..



here's the original email message:

Hi Guys,

Sorry to forward this to you, but you may be able to help? !
Please read below.
Thanks

Verity x

Contact:
jen.riding@singaporepoloclub.org

6 black lab (mix) puppies were rescued out of the middle of the road on Saturday. PLEASE help me find them homes - otherwise, it's Animal Control - which means they only have 5 days. We've bathed them, sprayed them for fleas
and wormed them....but we can't keep them. They are currently in a kennel in my basement since I don't have a fence. I've lost count of the number of rescue groups that I've contacted, only to be turned down due to no room. Please check with every dog person you know to see if they need a puppy.

you can email me at shamutheworld@yahoo.com or leave a comment.

if you're a dog lover who's reading this and has space for one more, please help if you can! or if you can help spread the word through any means possible, please let them know about this! feel free to use my email if you need a point of contact.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

poppin' by Popout 2007 tonight!



Okay, forgive the really cheesy title, but i'll be going down to Popout tonight, thanks to the fabulous invite from estee! i'm really looking forward to this, especially the presentation by gen kanai of mozilla! if you happen to be there, do remember to say hi! i pretty much look the same as the profile picture on the right.

a quotable quote

best thing i've heard all day while searching for bravestarr clips on youtube.



"The guy was a futuristic native american shaman sherrif with a cyborg Horse how cool was that!" - monkeybeasto

when you put it that way, the creators of this fine cartoon must've been smokin' some serious pot.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Ian Ortega - The Tagalog Stallion


12 May 1983 - 02 October 2007. A life well lived till he met his match.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Home Cooked Meals Are The Best


Simple food at home has been so hard to come by lately. And what is home fare without family around you? It really has been awhile.

Showing off


Showing Alan how i moblog

Monday, September 24, 2007

i'm from public relations, do you hate me?

since there are only a couple of us here in singapore who are practicing public relations and are also active in new media or social media (links on the right under the header public relations), i see it as a sort of corporate responsibility to talk about the topic of where public relations fits in the grand scheme of all things new and social media.

as a public relations practitioner, we cannot blindly charge into this new space with six-shooters blazing without a plan. when you engage a blogger, or a participant in this new social space, you cannot just treat them as professional journalists, nor can we just infiltrate and saturate the space with crappy public relations practices that might also explain the current mindset people draw when the public thinks of public relations. if you're a public relations practitioner, or a blogger approached by a public relations representative, or a communications student, i hope this post is for you.

many times, society has been burned by the more 'shadowy' tactics of public relations. while i know must of us practice with a high level of professionalism, all it takes is a few bad eggs to make a lasting negative impression. so now that we are all trying ways and means to come up with best practices for this new media, can we avoid the mistakes others have done? i hope so. for starters, i won't claim to be an expert or have all the answers, but i hope that i can keep to my integrity both personally and professionally, and i hope the same goes for you too.

some of our counterparts have come up with the term pr 2.0. now we have to be clear that this does not just mean practicing public relations using new technology. what brian solis stresses is that because of the new publishing power bestowed onto everyone now, and not just people in the media and publishing industries, user-generated content is a force to be reckoned with. so remember, its not just about blogs, rss feeds, video and audio podcasts, it is ultimately about the people. that is pr 2.0, valuing the people, and the communities that people form, both virtually and in real life.

so if i could put down in point form, what i've learnt so far while working as part of ogilvy public relation's digital influence team, interacting with some bloggers and my own challenges when walking through a digital strategy with clients, it would be this:

1. engage and understand the space by reading blogs, forums, online magazines, watch youtube, chat on msn, use facebook

2. when you find that you have too much to read and consume, start looking to RSS and starting an online reader like google reader and start syncing feeds to your reader and watch how it magically updates so you don't have two millions tabs or windows open.

3. now, you've got tonnes of individuals updating you about what's going on in their lives, their areas of expertise and their industries, what you need to do now is identify the communities that are forming.

- for singaporeans, i recommend these wonderful aggregation sites that help sieve blogs for us, and actually some have formed their own little communities within them as well.

tomorrow.sg
ping.sg
sgblogger
singapore daily

4. finally, if you're up to it, start engaging! by this i mean, start your own blog, lifestreams, social bookmarks, youtube accounts, podcasts, upload pictures, get your own facebook accounts.. and with RSS, you can sync everything to one another.

and just to show off a 'lil bit, you can find me on all of these, if you know what i'm talking about, add me to your community or network, and you can be sure you'll receive only the best of what my clients can give you. in the end, you have information and i have information, let's tell more people and have a ball. that's one way of looking at public relations -)

my jaiku lifestream is found here: http://litford.jaiku.com

it syncs my flickr stream, blog, del.icio.us tags and latest music from last.fm to it and my twitter feed

most of these streams are linked to my facebook account as well. so add me on facebook from the side panel.

if you're on other social networks, i'm still on friendster and myspace

you can also watch my youtube videos here.

and contact me thru regular, old skool email at shamutheworld@yahoo.com or litford@gmail.com

so as a recap:
blog
flickr
youtube
del.icio.us
twitter
jaiku
last.fm
ping.sg
friendster
myspace
facebook
yahoo mail
gmail

and there you have it, times are changing quickly.. but remember, it ain't about the tech, it's about the people.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Lemon Barley Drink


I think yesterday's cold bukkake udon affected me more than i'd like to admit

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Cold Bukkake Udon


WTF?!?

Hailing all future aliens


It's going to happen, news feeds are going to populate our busy metropolis with real time breaking stories to keep us forever connected to technology and information.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

why blogs matter, even when everyone's doing it

this blog is not a diary. it is a publication that reaches out to the potential 6 billion people out there who can chance upon this space, with a computer, internet connection and a relatively good command of english.

while i exaggerate, the potential is there, not just for me, but for anybody who doesn't lock up his or her posts, and basically what we have here, is a virtual publication that is accessible via the use of the net.

extrapolate the future, worldwide wifi coverage, mobile devices subscribing to this blog's RSS feed, and you can receive real-time updates everytime i update, put new videos, pictures, audio, links and basically any sort of virtual content, anywhere, anytime and on the go.

mark my words, this is the future of digital communications.

although i'm sure you've heard it all before, which is why if you're reading this with interest, pay attention to these developments.

1. mobile devices
2. wifi
3. RSS
4. social bookmarking
5. lifestreams
6. convergence of services
7. simplicity in design

so if you're asking what this means for you, if everyone's doing the same thing, how will anyone get noticed?

8. aggregation <-- as more people link or direct to the source, that will raise the profile of a particular piece of content.

pay attention to the categories on the right hand side, with special emphasis on "theory" and "communication" if you like what you read in this post.

in the meantime, to demonstrate the power of linking or mixed media on a single blog post, check this video by cajun dance party below:



this song is definitely making it to my 2007 compilation.

when you think about it, i've linked media from youtube to my blog using an embedding code that displays a flash player on this blog post. when you think even further, google has acquired youtube, and that means a convergence in services.. and might we be too hasty to conclude that since blogger is owned by google, video-blogging is going to become even more common place in the future?

the virtualisation of our content is paramount to the future of digital communications. digitisation of analog content made it easier to share between peers. virtualisation allows all users to view, interact and share content using any browser connected to the net, independent of software. software and code exists in browsers, not your hard drives anymore.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

things are always changing

i was going thru my old posts when i came across this one. i was about a month into my final week in uni and i asked myself these questions:

should i go back to singapore or seek life elsewhere?

i know i'm going to be in singapore for the the next three years of my life, or at least not in australia

what ministry should i join or will God put me into?

im helping out with the youth worship ministry, and people still remember that i play bass or made videos.

will i buy an lc-a?

i bought an lc-a

will i buy a mac?

i didn't buy a mac. i plan to at the end of the year.

will that mac be a powerbook or powermac?

i'm deciding between a blackbook or a macbook pro

should i be getting a satalite PC instead?

home got itself a desktop in the end.

what about portable music, an iriver or an ipod?

i bought a black 80gig ipod

what sorta music will i be playing when i go back to singapore?

i'm still playing in leeson, joined one point brilliance, and helping another side project out

do i start any new projects?

project rsvp, amongst other things

what sort of job will i hold in the future?

i'm working in ogilvy public relations

what sort of position will i get?

i started where everybody starts it

will i be respected by society and my peers?

nobody seems to hate me..

will i ever have a relationship with anyone?

not yet.

will whatever job i find myself into pave the way for something else, something greater?

it does seem that way, but only time will tell

how can i be a better musician?

by playing more often

how can i be a better christian?

obedience, faith, discipline

how can i be a better friend?

you stand by them

how can i be a better son?

you don't shirk from your responsibilities and you respect your parents

will i have enough for the future?

not yet.

what sort of hobbies will see me past my prime?

bass playing, reading

how will i age or grow old?

by asking questions

how will i bring up my kids?

maybe i won't have any..

what sort of values will i learn today that will serve me well into my years?

tonnes, i guess that's why i'm still alive..

will i ever direct my own production?

no. but i was a cinematographer on a project last year.

will i be a leading expert in my field?

not quite there yet. but i'm in an exciting place.

will all these things matter if i surrender everything to God?

i think they would still matter.

should i even be concerned about these things?

i don't see why not.. it's amazing how many questions have been answered in a year..

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

listen up and listen close

i'm typing in this space again, and it's been a pretty massive week that almost daily for the past week, i've been coming home brain dead.

i turned 25 over the weekend, learned a massive load from our american express party, which you can see some awesome pictures taken by one of the bloggers we invited here. he goes by the handle, tetanus and i'm glad i met him and some others as part of work and play -)

can't believe i actually hit 25, that's two more years to get the rockstar career going on and pass on from a massive overdose or a grand fireball by the time i hit 27. tales of grandeur, but just trying to put some life and perspective in an otherwise docile singaporean existence. but i exaggerate, it isn't all that bad, and i'm glad have a chance to do what i'm doing.

brain's pretty fried, i don't know why.. but hopefully i'll be more coherent by the next post. gonna get some shut eye. sleep tight and right folks.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

The bright lights of the city


In a club girls with the shortest skirts, longest hair and show the most skin, it's a jiving girl in tshirt and jeans that seems to get me going on. Some people are rare to come by, so value them when you have the chance to

Tar


For some reason, coke looks really disgusting like some foul black tar from an abyss

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

you'll find love if love is looking for you

so many times we long to feel embraced, cared for, validated. in fact, we fill our hearts with love poured upon us by external forces, to if i might be so bold as to say, we fill our hearts with the adoration heaped upon by others to fill that gaping wound inside of us.

this sort of love is selfish and self-fulfilling and when the other party stops that flow, our hearts are hungry once again.

in essence, we are in a continual state of need which has led to our mass consumption, of whatever cheaper alternatives we can find to fill the void.

and it is only when our hearts are continually filled, then we can continuously outpour and continually give.

so the question remains, what are you filling your heart with? because that will determine what your heart will give.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Cheeky Sister


My sister just said that this was my ancestor. -_-;

more quiz love, now with videos!




You're a Hyena!

You have quite a sense of humor, though many others find it derisive
rather than appealing. You are perceived as being a coward, but actually have moments
of great bravery and have even stood up to those much larger than yourself. You like
hanging out in groups and are always making a lot of noise. Disney thinks you are an
idiot.



Take the Animal Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.



plus i've been on a bit of a neko case craze:

maybe sparrow


hold on, hold on


tracing out the lines of your destruction

i consume. music, rss feeds, blog posts, instant messages, smses, video, newspapers, conversations, everything that appeals to my stimulus.

without my five senses, i am nothing. and i've clogged my arteries with my consumption. trying to fill those nerve endings with something to do, to keep my brain sharp. although sometimes i wonder, just how sharp my brain would be if i wasn't thinking about something else half the time.

today, i made a conscious effort to slow down, and to also consume less, or only when necessary. i had a slower saturday by far. i bothered to have breakfast with my mom today. it's come to this, that if i spend any time other than sunday dinner with a member of my family, i would subconsciously think that i was wasting my time. not today though, we walked to a nearby coffee shop and just ordered a cup of iced milk tea and kaya toast, and just relished the moment. drove her to the market to get some last minute ingredients for her afternoon tea party with her friends and came home.

one thing that struck me, was that it was spontaneous, not time set aside, just go with the flow. don't try to control your life too much.

then, i came home and did the one thing i've been putting off the entire week. rework my pedalbaord for my bass. for the gear initiated, i now run a smaller power board, my bass signal goes through an a/b splitter, one to the tuner, and the other to my mxr dynacomp -> effector 13 torn's speaker -> DNA Logic bass dragger and finally -> mxr m80 bass distortion DI.

i've found that putting the bass dragger after the torn's speaker and before the m-80 to have the best results. and the bass dragger really sounds like shite on it's own. it is fuzz heaven when coupled with the torn's speaker. the bass dragger acts as a very decent boost for the fuzz, and the m-80 distortion channel acts as a very decent boost for the bass dragger's distortion as well. all in all, i'm very happy. once i get a power brick, i'll fit the filter model and other modulation effects, and finally transport them to a pedaltrain 2.

- end gear rant -

and then, i had lunch with a good pal, yh. always good meeting him and talking about misadventures that were and never were.

came home to sleep. by conscious effort too. for someone who needs constant stimulation, sleep is your greatest enemy when you see it as an evil vice that takes you away from doing more productive things. but today, sleep itself was good, to rest when rest is needed. to save some energy for the coming week, and in that sense, maximise your weekend.

dinner later. it was grace's birthday, and saw some more old uni friends. i decided to come home after dinner to chill the rest of saturday away. watched some videos, read my comics, and finding the best time to blog, which is now. when my brain is waning slightly, but also brimming with something to say. to just let that stream of consciousness flow and let loose one final broadcast to the world before bedtime.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

What Book Are You?




You're Moby-Dick!

by Herman Melville

You've spent your whole life seeking something grand and elusive. What
this is seems clear to you, but is hopelessly confusing to everyone else. You see it as
a simple hunt, but others have called it a metaphor for just about everything in the
world. Weary of metaphors, you are quite concerned that this quest will be your undoing.
Make sure any ship you board is well-built. Pursuant to your request, people call you
Ishmael.



Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.



brian : i'm actually rather surprised as to how much this pertains to me. the allure of a grand quest, to make good in this life. the elusiveness if it all. maybe i'm just rambling..

Friday, August 24, 2007

Restlessness


Listening to the Deftones really puts me in a jamming sort of mood

Thursday, August 23, 2007

why i believe



just a reminder to why i believe, in something that cannot be seen, but rests well within my soul. -)))

keep on writing, you're the only one who can

write! keep writing!

i'm just drawn to the temptation that this blog will one day be turned into my autobiography. or at least a piece of fiction, of the man that was. as such, i'm immensely proud of the words that have been stored on this blog, because perhaps one day they will serve a purpose other than what they are serving now.

if your blog were going to be compiled into a book, what would it be made of? i think that's one ideal i've unknowingly adhered to, one thing that keeps that self-reflexive and not just a record of the daily happenings around the world, but rather, the world through my eyes. and it's reflection of that.

i've done no wrong, and yet i am not without sin.

Speak Cryptic


Saw this piece of awesome street art in Orchard on tuesday night. There's also a story about the street artist on www.culturepush.com

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Stars Align


We spend all our lives apart but just once in our lives, maybe the stars align.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Love. Peace. Joy


I don't know. It's the little things that remind us of what our souls are craving for. How it shouldnt be seen as week to believe in what we desire the most. I'm stuck in a traffic jam, writing in my journal and blogging on the go. You can see what i want to express, but you dont see all that i could truly want to say.

Saturday Afternoons Take A Turn


Nothing like a bit of retail therapy and sitting and marble tables to help pass the time

through a red and green lens

right then. girls. attack wombs to the ready. this is about the journalism of attachment.

monstering is ultimately, about giving a shit. it's about giving something back to these bastards. these people whom we somehow let run our goddam lives for us. giving them a taste of what it means to be us.

every law that curbs my basic human freedoms; every lie about the things i care for; every crime committed against me by their politics -- that's what makes me get up and hound these fuckers, and i'll do that until the day i die, or my brain dries up or something.

that's what we achieve. we show them they're accountable. we show them that just as they try to herd us back into cages of quiet mediocrity, we can chase them back to fucking hell with the truth.

it's the journalism of attachment. it's caring about the world you report on. some people say that's bad journalism, that there should be a detached, cold, unbiased view of the world in our news media. and if that's what you want, there are security tapes everywhere that you could watch tapes of.

i want to see humans talking about human life, personally. i want to see people who give a shit about the world. i want... i want to see possessed journalists. yes!

i want to see people like me, rising up with hate, laying about them with fiery eyes and steaming genitalia --

possessed by ancient volcano gods from the polynesian islands, waving vast breasts and impossible penises at the secret chiefs of the world --

-- naked glowing god-journalists brown-trousering the naughty twenty-four hours a day, a new planet earth --

waiter! fresh underwear, seven blankets and a bucket of moist towelettes!

- spider jerusalem #27 pg.15 - 18



and maybe our greatest short-coming is being apathetic. to life, culture, history, love and toward ourselves.

Friday, August 17, 2007

go where you want but i won't be too far

Do what you want but I know who you are
Say what you want but I know what you're thinking
Go where you want but I won't be too far
Go where you want and I know where you'll end up

If you fall in love
Fall in love and hold nothing back
I'll fall in love
Fall in love and hold nothing back from you, oh
You oh
You oh
You

Do what you want but I know who you are
Say what you want but I know what you're thinking
If you fall in love
Fall in love and hold nothing back
I'll fall in love
Fall in love and hold nothing back from you, oh
You oh
You oh
You
- copeland, hold nothing back


Wednesday, August 15, 2007

human 2.0, where do you stand?

our world is changing fast. the act of sex and the concept of love, relationship and marriage seem to be seen as separate topics altogether in today's fragmented, post modern, please yourself generation/society.

and maybe this is where i can't seem to join the dots. is the act of sex merely physical as scientists claim, and are we just victims of the hormones secreted by our pituitary glands? and if this is as science claims it to be, then the whole institution of love, marriage and emotions should have no place in our current, forward-looking society.

and yet, for many of us who choose this liberal lifestyle, we still place a value, or even an emphasis on the whole institution of 'being together' or 'being exclusive' to each other.

are these the vestiges of the old guard with respect to our institutions about love, or have we in accordance to our expanding intelligence, or did we actually short-change ourselves to be fully human by quantifying the myriad of emotions, spirit and soul into mere hormonal imbalances?

this is where i see some food for thought. to the scientist, seeing is believing. he has seen hormones being secreted, he records and publishes his findings in scientific journals. however, we don't see our own hormones, and we don't particularly see which hormones are released when we 'feel a certain way'. so aren't we believing the religion of science the same way we've always been believing religion? the evolution, is that in some scientific circles, man has become god himself.

in our quest to quantify ourselves as humans, or mere living things, a bunch of cells that reacts to external stimuli and internal hormonal systems.. we've lost sight of the 'soul factor', the consciousness that sort of makes us human, the one thing we haven't been able to replicate in artificial intelligence just yet. that innate, self-reflexive, self-awareness.

and so to round it all off, is the act of sex, merely just an act, if not, why has it been tied in to a concept of marriage in so many different cultures? cultures so diverse and far apart, all have some form of marriage/union, and also some form of adultery.

and if our cravings for love, acceptance, validation and relationships are really just much ado about hormones, then why do we, even more so in our current 'live-for-yourself' generation, place so much value and emphasis on relationships of any kind? why do we still feed that constant desire to be loved, to make meaning of our emotions, and yet.. we devalue the very shards of our soul that keep us human?

the future is the age of the androgynous cyborg, where we are unlearning our own human condition. where the conservative are the confused, and the current confused, are seen as the enlightened messiahs.

i don't know how much longer i'll last, because it fucken scares me more than anything else.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Patriotism Post Mortem


Found this on the bus to work this morning. Simple twist in messaging subverts the status quo. Oh, why cant we see more singaporeans react to their surroundings like this?

a brave stance



sometimes i wished i didn't know the things i knew
that within these four walls
i could be safe
and you would leave me alone
you stupid little world
always trying to tell me what to do
what to see, and what to say
because now you've got me all scared
and i'm the only one brave enough
to say how damn scared i am of what you're capable of

Monday, August 13, 2007

you say blog, i say soul narrative

in continuation with our current series about brian finding his place again in the blogosphere, i now present in more tangible terms what blogging means to me.

it's a form of narrative for us life-bloggers who blog for cathartic purposes, maybe i'll term it soul-casting or my soul narrative. it won't allow you to read my mind, but at least i'm able to put down in words the things festering in my brain, and my heart-condition. in words that only mean something to you, and not for anyone else.

it's a flawed way of communication, which is a bit of the anti-thesis to blogging, or someone who works in the communications industry. but it keeps me sane, and also proud of the fact that i exist somewhere in the vast universe of the internet.

i'm not saying you'll know me after reading this blog, but you might understand me a little better, what i'm about, what makes me tick, and then hopefully you can start peddling me your wares and i'll consume like the consumer i am. if this voice is not relevant to you or doesn't mean anything to you, then i believe i've done my job, because i've been able to take something intrinsic and unquantifiable, and put it up for all to see on the web, and by speaking, i assert my right to live, or rather my right to blog.

so you say blog, but i say soul naratting, who knows if it'll become a trend or not, but i'm exorcising the demons in my head that say i need to speak the voice of our status quo to be popular. no, we don't have to be popular, we just have to be relevant to the ones that matter, even if your captive audience is yourself.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

meaningless dashboard drivel

a friend told me this morning that the green of this blog didn't suit me, that the purple it was before was more me. i find that rather true, and what i also find, is that i may have been wanting to make this blog something it's not.

as mentioned in the previous post, i may have wanted to make this blog something of an 'authority' about all things new media, or public relations, or social media. while still holding on to what made the original harmless?bananas! special. but it just wasn't working out, i think i was trying too hard, and this blog actually lost abit of the spark that it had started with.

that spark was its voice. my voice.

its a bit of an unquantifiable, this voice, and what makes certain blogs more special than the others. it's not just language and grammar, it's a sort of personality that takes shape and evolves, like its almost talking to you like a real person. anyone can present information on a factual basis, but not everybody can converse, and not everybody converses like me, or like you.

this blog may never see the numbers that mr brown, or xiaxue or jeremiah owyang attract, or even be a source or point of authority about certain social issues, but i think i'm also learning to let go, and put these grandiose thoughts away, and just focus on what originally made me happy about blogging. just being able to share, the things that keep me human, and not merely a statistic.

and so.. it's been a long drawn process, working in the communications industry, the pressures of being a pro-blogger because we believe that more is better, or bigger is better, but i can't harden myself that way, i know this blog of mine ain't meant to be hardsell. and i believe you come back for more, because there is something intrinsic that we feel as if we know each other -)

Saturday, August 11, 2007

things you learn while you're single

you listen, you take in the sights and the sounds, you communicate with a white space that doesn't talk back at you and sometimes, you become overly cryptic.

i wanted to give this much thought, i wanted to make this something readable, but i also realise that if i don't type this from my heart, if i do not spend myself on this space here, i will become like every other blogger i know, where we talk about topline headstuff, things that make us feel good about ourselves, that shed light on a topic, or a dark period in our lives. but i'm sorry, if i think with my brain too much, this blog starts becoming contrived, because my intellect isn't all there is to me, but the world and the spaces i move in, only seem concerned with that. i sell my brain for money, and it puts decent food on the table. but i don't spend my heart, and it festers like a pool of boiling garden slugs, not the most palatable catchphrase i've come up with i'll give it that.

so what did i mean when i started typing the title?

being single isn't a bad thing. even after all the hollywood narratives of finding love in the most unlikely places, or how many couples you see holding hands in vivo-city, being single isn't a bad thing. if anything, you also realise love isn't overrated. don't get me wrong, i'm not a bitter, cynical man (if i choose not to be), but if anything, you have that lousy feeling, because you're basing your emotions on what somebody else makes you feel. how somebody else validates you, and loves you back. and why is this important? because we are impossibly broken people, and we know the places where we can't love ourselves. the mistakes we've made, the flaws in our physical attributes, the times we've failed, the ones we've ignored. when someone showers their affection on you, maybe we aren't so messed up?

lies. and truths.

you have to accept these things, these shortcomings, and come back to the path, to the road only you can take. accept yourself, don't look for another broken person to fix you. is there a way to get fixed?

a savior's love. and this is how Christ demonstrated his love for us, while we were still sinners, Christ died for our sins - Romans 5:8

i'm still being fixed, because i keep breaking myself in new places.

love isn't just for those of us in relationships, if anything, individuals like ourselves are just as deserving of it. be it with God, our families, our friends, and in time, our spouses.

i leave you now with spider jerusalem:

two days in the whirlwind have left me shipwrecked and abandoned. even the stuff i've been shooting in order to, Holmes-like, keep my interest in the world alive is failing me now. i've played the game like a good little whore, snarled and cursed on cue, done the work and banged out the columns. i'll let myself sleep soon, and hope to hell the world doesn't seem so goddamn fractured when i wake up. Having said that, i also hope i wake to find half this city committed suicide in my honour -

Make Chauvanist Pig Supermarket


Hehe, funny things you see on the east coast of Singapore

Heaven is medium rare steak


Aston's medium rare prime ribeye steak with onion rings and grilled vegetables. My dinner for saturday. It's been awhile.. You and me :)

Friday, August 10, 2007

nothing but a big giant mess



there's only a few minutes left before my brain goes into a total meltdown. what can i say in this short window of time before everything around me goes black?

i don't know if i'm particularly looking forward to the future, some people see it as bleak, and some see it as hopeful. i don't know what i want to choose, if i have to choose any. can i just make that choice when the future finally arrives, and then i'll deal with it?

but yes, apart from being utterly cryptic, i just don't really know what i can share about. but stay tuned to this channel, because i'm being very inspired by what i read on transmetropolitan, and i wonder just how much typing like this will survive. whether a part of me will always stay relevant to you?

Monday, August 6, 2007

life. it's a story, and it's a blog

it's a warm night, the air is still and the fan isn't doing much good. i'm reading transmetropolitan and listening to thursday, while chatting to a few friends on msn.

it was a good sunday, i managed to squeeze in lunch and dinner with my folks while having band practice and meeting vinz for coffee after dinner.

yesterday, i hung out with yh, attended a client's birthday gathering and then adjourned to blue jazz for a good night with friends.

it's so hard to keep being inspired, inspiration is like a sort of drug, or the 'high' you get when you're obviously on something. when you know you've typed a good post, and there's that enormous satisfaction, or when you've had an awesome time jamming, when everything just works, when you've written that new lyric or riff, or perhaps the joy that comes from meeting people, when you feel validated and loved, or when you drive yourself to the ground, but you come out alive, that elation of life.

these activities that spawn inspiration, are the addiction, and inspiration is the drug. the stuff that lifts you out from the mundaneness of just living, just breathing.

blogging can, or has turned into a sort of discipline for me. i'm not as inspired as i was before, because life is really quite busy for me these days. outside of work and during work. as i was driving home with thomas after band practice, he pointed out how i was always rushing from place to place, person to person, commitment after commitment.

as he first told me that, i was put on the defensive, i internalised it within me that i wasn't like that, that if i didn't do these things, things would fall apart, move apart, extend beyond my reach, and i would lose them.

i never thought i'd say it, but i had become a bit of a control freak, if not, a control freak.

when things were beyond my reach, maybe i'd work extra hard to make it work. buy a new bass, listen to more music, practice a 'lil more, call a friend out, meet up with anybody and everybody, blog a little more, read a little more, process a little more. and in the end, i do everything in minute little pieces.

i had become a mirror of fractal shards.

and so.. i'm slowly learning, to.. slow down. again. i used to slow down, in a strangely quickened pace. i'd set aside my 'slow time' and after that, like being hit by a drug, i'd go out and expend all that new found energy. but literally, to do one thing a day.. it's gonna take a lot of courage, a lot of effort, to strangely enough, do less things in one day.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

me do personality test - what dinobot are you?

WHAT KIND OF DINOBOT ARE YOU?


Provided by www.melovegrimlock.com

hahahahhaha, i think it does fit me somewhat.. the competitive side and my driver's personality. some of you might recall this incident called the 'pretzel fit'. snarl is cute! me love grimlock!!!

me grimlock don't need brain, me grimlock smash brain! - grimlock

Friday, August 3, 2007

The Spirit That Guides Us

i discovered this band about three years back, was crazy about them, lost their music in the great hard drive crash of 2006 and totally forgot about them till now. and omigosh, how i love the lyrics..



Agnes
What if I cut my wrist just because You made me like this.
I want You to show me what love is.
What if the fifth car would take us anywhere but far away.
I want You to drive me home tonight.

We've got absolutely nothing in common.
Except for the fact that we're stuck in this place.
We're completely God forsaken.
And I have not truck with with You or Your grace.
Homophobice explanations dragging me around and around again.
Stroboscopice expectations dragging me around and around again.

What if I have no friends just because You named me Agn├Ęs.
I wish I was someone else some where else any where but far from here.
I wish I was someone else some where else any where but far from here.

Homophobice explanations dragging me around and around again.
Stroboscopice expectations dragging me around anfd around again.
We've got absolutely nothing in common.
Except for the fact that we're stuck in this place.
We're completely God forsaken.
And I have not truck with with You or Your grace.

You don't care about my feelings my emotions don't mean anything to You.
What love's for You ain't love for me.
I can't love You like You love me

Agnes means pure, and holy in Greek



Real Life Motion Picture Soundtrack
Can I save your life. Lift you up to the sky.
How far is heaven. Let's go tonight.

Don't give up on me hanging there.
Don't you die on me please keep breathing.
'Cause it's a lie that your better of dead.
This is not a movie no happy endings here.

If you are not there I don't want to go I'd stick by your side and follow you back home.
I'd give up forever I'd trade in my life just to be with you.
Just to be with you just to be with you.

Don't give up on me hanging there.
Don't you die on me please keep breathing.
'Cause it's a lie that yor better of dead.
This is not a movie no happy endings here.

You are a car crash, train accident
It's inevitable.
The kingdom is at hand.
Hey Randell are you well where would you be.
Please Randell can you tell are you gonna be fine.

'Cause it's a lie that your better of dead.
This is not a movie no happy endings here.
No happy endings here.
No happy endings here.

Mercury Rev live @ Esplanade 2nd August 2007


The set:
1. That Funny Bird
2. You're My Queen
3. Lorelai
4. Tonight It Shows
5. Tides Of The Moon
6. New Song - Snowflake?
7. Holes
8. Opus 40 into That Funny Bird (coda)
9. You Gotta Serve Somebody (Dylan)
10. The Dark Is Rising
11. New Song 2 - So Powerless?
12. Diamonds

Encore:
1. Goddess On A Highway
2. Delta Sun Bottleneck Stomp


if anybody knows what the two new songs are, feel free to let me know -) and if you have a review of the gig, by all means, link it back here, i'll be doing mine later in the day. but in essence, it was an awesome gig, they played a lot of my favourite songs, the visuals were quite spectacular and the band was full on! plus, i got my spiffy notebook signed on! woooooooot!

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

The Cure Singapore Indoor Stadium 1st August 2007


I'm at the fucken Cure concert! -slits wrists-

Monday, July 30, 2007

skin tight tokyo II

well, the videos have been shared, and now we move on to the more plain text.

actually, i'm starting to wonder whether i have any more things to say. oh maybe i have too many things to say that i get a bit confused every time i come back here. to vent, to rant, to write. to listen to myself as i re-read the words i type for all to see

i've been working for the past three months, and it does feel like a long time. i'm thankful, very thankful that i have a job, something i used to be so worried about before i graduated, whether i would ever amount to anything, and now i'm working in what some would call a branded place.

but i think if you really look deep inside my heart, it's not thh corporate world that holds its allure for me, something else captivates my heart, and i hope i don't lose that edge, or lose sight of that which makes me different. it's not meant to be proud or boastful, heaven forbid, but i believe that despite working in the cogs of the machine, each and everyone of us holds something deep in our hearts that keeps us captivated, but usually, more often than not, we choose to ignore it, to pursue something else, to pursue a seduction of what this world has to offer, and not what is in store for us in heaven.

before you think i sound like some kind of a religious buff, well.. maybe you wouldn't be too far from the truth, i know what i believe in. daily, i struggle and i fight, to remind myself of just what i believe in. this world is so tempting to my flesh, but it is also transient. and i've been fighting the battles for many years. some days i fail, some days i'm kept strong, but it's only by grace that the new day comes, faith in something unseen that the sun rises tomorrow.

i really did wish everything my heart desired would come true, that i were stronger in many ways, or didnt have to feel so much. and yet, to turn away and not become, an eternity with no salvation.. can i expect you to understand? those of you who do, praise the Lord, but what about the rest? what can we say to convince you that it's not about religion, not just about right and wrong or checks and balances, but ultimately about an innocent man who was put to death and rose from the dead, and the free gift of salvation and eternal life?

some of us choose to believe we just fade back into nothingness.. is that scarier than believing in a hell? but here's a thought: we're just multiplied cells from our parent's sperm and ovum, and yet.. here we exist with a certain consciousness. we put our answer in what some scientists tell us, but all they tell us is that we exist, to exist, that we're part of the great primodial soup. so what purpose is there in life, if there is no value in death?

so i put this across to you, if there is value in life, than there is value in death. and we do not just "return to the earth"

but you'll ultimately have to find that out for yourself. my mute words fall on deaf ears.

skin tight tokyo

first things first, in preparation for 2007's compilation, this is my shortlist for song of the year so far. if you wanna have a vote, leave a comment -) but the important thing is to just enjoy good music when you come across it.

1. the klaxons - golden skans


if you really must know, it's the part that goes "ohhh ohh ohhh.. uh ohhh..", the fuzzy bass during the verse and the very catchy chorus.

2. stateless - prism #1


i just got to know about this yesterday when thomas introduced them to me. their producer is the same one produced dj shadow's seminal debut, entroducing. it shows in the production quality, but more than that, it's the haunting keyboards, ambient scratches, breakish bass, classic drums of death and that soulful voice that goes just a little scared of being lonely...

3. bloc party - uniform


this song stood out for me from a weekend in the city. the song is bleak, disenfranchised and utterly depressing. the sense of slow motion night clubs come to play, and you can almost see the people dancing in slow motion as we fill our lives with some noise to fight the silence. great guitar riff at the end as well.

Because we are so handsome and we are so bored
So entertain us, tell me a joke
Make it long, make it last forever
Make it cruel just make me laugh
We can't be hurt


yeah yeah yeahs - sealings


it's actually an old song, but was re-recorded for the spiderman 3 soundtrack, so it counts. to me, this is the quintessential guitar riff for 2007. i have no idea how he gets that hiroshima inducing tone, and the squelchy pixies-like firebursts during the chorus compliment the mad turnstile drums of brian chase's drumming and of course the ever drunk but syren-like Karen O make this my instant classic for 2007

Thursday, July 26, 2007

There streets have a name


You're part of the flow, the machine, the cogs, and you're trying to find your place in this world while others look over you shoulder, smiling a wry smile to themselves, painting a picture with our lowly imaginings

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

i know it all

and all i know is that i don't have all the answers.

once again i felt like blogging, but my mind drew an absolute blank the moment i saw this white space. can't really wait for the weekend to arrive, it breaks the monotony up a bit.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

songs in the process

you broke the night
into a million stars
and the world found it hard to breathe
and the sun, drew a frown
and it's crashing all around

and how does it feel to be the one?
that broke my heart..
how does it feel to be the one?
that broke my heart..

... and why does it always end like this?

Monday, July 23, 2007

What Strange Friend You Have Part III


He's made it into the hall of fame again. What can i say? I love my friends :)

two things i would like to see

after three months of experience navigating the Internet and developing outreach strategies, i'm going to pen down two ideas that i hope to see fulfiled so that i can do my work easier, and also to have a more rewarding experience:

1. if there's a desktop widget that tracks my all the websites i've visited in a day and compiles a chronological list of those websites, i can review a historical stream of everything i've done in the day and give myself a good debrief. extra points if this history page can be streamed to del.icio.us or RSS. i'm looking at full automation, and yes, i know it's called the "history" tab, but again, i want it in chronological and the times i was there. sometimes i feel as if i miss out on certain things and it would be nice to re-cap the day's activities.

2. if facebook application developers can come up with more applications that don't require your friends to have the same application to interact with you, it might go against the "networking" appeal of applications, but it might foster more interactivity. plus i'm sure we've all been app. bombed before, and it is irritating. as much as i am a zombie ninja, i don't wanna bother too many people or for too many people to bother me.

people on the same page as me, share your thoughts! comments below.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

time

it has come to my attention (and observation) that blogs these days basically tell it like it is. it's been awhile since i've read some good personal stuff. plus, most of my friends just haven't found the time to blog, or i haven't found the time to read the ones that still blog. but all in all, as much as i'd love to write in a more 'professional' or 'journalistic' way, it really just isn't my style for a life blog like this.

if you're still reading this space after these past four years, good on you! maybe i am interesting at times.

i had a pretty massive day, yh and i went to get our tickets to watch tommy emmanuel and i got to really love one of his new songs, "questions" ALOT



getting to the Esplanade was no mean feat though, because of the national day rehearsals, we wanted to avoid traffic by parking one MRT station away, but we still couldn't find parking. so after a lot of driving and walking, we arrived at the show 45mins late.

it's official. i hate national day if it's going to clog up traffic and make everyone behave like morons within the central town areas of singapore.

went to grab drinks with vincent and joseph after the show and i return home close to 2am. understandably, i'm pretty bushed, plus i have an early day tomorrow cuz practice is at 8am and i'm playing for worship at 9.

i'm not complaining, it's nice to have a packed schedule because you feel like you're a part of something. but it does hit you when you go home, your folks are asleep, and you take your shower and prepare for bed, and then you finally lie down and say your prayers if you're not too tired, and sometimes you contemplate the things that are not going so great in your life, and it's just you. sometimes you feel alone, and sometimes you feel loved.

i come from a school of thought where everybody deserves to be loved, and i'll seek it out -)