revealing the cold succulent wound and world
yay, i took my band aid off. i'm glad timely first aid made this less than a disaster than wot it could be. always look at the brigther side of life. but that's because you're not on the dark side of the moon.

glad to have a whole day to myself. self gratification and amusement was top on the list, but at least i managed to scout around for some tickets back to perth, and brought my bowazon to level 20 and into the arcane sanctuary. daymn, i wish reality was this excting. stuffing demonic quails with poison tipped arrows. also fruitful because my mate in perth sent me one of their imprint tracks.

but despite all this, i really should have been somewhere else. haha, but t hat's for me to know. no wait, i told you already. ah heck.

scalding brain
bugger, i burned my index finger. its on my left hand, so i can't play the guitar properly, nor can i type properly. but i still am. you know when they say "pain lets you know you're still alive." well, you know. i dont really wanna argue with that. cds i have listened to today:
system of a down - steal this album
graham coxon - the golden d
a perfect circle - thirteenth step
tool - lateralus
concave scream - three (as this is being processed)
dave matthews band - busted stuff (in the queue)
im disgusted that even at 12, we have such condescending children who scold each other names, and insult parent's occupations. i have no idea where such behaviour was influenced or learnt. it does sound distressing.

drive by shootings
ass-nine comic strips can be found here.

larynx
it's frustrating when you can't seem to put the notes together. when you can't construct the building blocks in your mind and soul. when you see beauty, or when you experience armagaddon.. it's all fleeting. and maybe that's where the allure of creating something comes in, to comemorate a certain feeling, random as it is to just be a symbol of the times. and yeah, we wear our influences on our sleeves.

beautiful things:
hitomi
the word "soul"
t shirts
dj shadow's entroducing
fiestiness
armani plastic

ugly things:
giving up
peace thru war
analuptightness
dependency
packaged music
beeping noises

strength and honour
i really enjoy the japanese lore of samurais and shinobis

complete sincerity: you believe in being
straightforward with others, and you expect the
same from them. people would consider you a
good listener, and one who is calm and mostly
serious.

which characteristic from the samurai code matches you best? (you may find out your best trait)
brought to you by quizilla

say something
if you don't voice out, you'll fade into oblivion. fine, that's where it ends. i'll be in the neighbourhood, but you won't know i'm here. i'm not even gonna look out the window. sit here quietly in my chair and contemplate residual waste.

pardon me - incubus
pardon me while I burst
pardon me while I burst

a decade ago, i never thought i would be,
at twenty three, on the verge of spontaneous combustion.
woe-is-me.
but i guess that it comes with the territory;
an ominous landscape of never ending calamity.
i need you to hear, i need you to see that i have had all i can take and
exploding seems like a definite possibility to me.
so pardon me while I burst into flames.
i've had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games.
so pardon me while i burn and rise above the flame.
pardon me, pardon me, i'll never be the same.
not two days ago, i was having a look in a book
and i saw a picture of a guy fried up above his knees.
i said, "i can relate," because lately i've been thinking of combustication
as a welcomed vacation from the burdens of the planet earth.
like gravity, hypocrisy, and the perils of being in 3-D...
but thinking so much differently.
so pardon me while I burst into flames.
i've had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games.
so pardon me while i burn and rise above the flame.
pardon me, pardon me, i'll never be the same.
never be the same
pardon me while i burts into flames
pardon me, pardon me
so pardon me while i burst into flames.
i've had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games.
so pardon me while i burn and rise above the flame.
pardon me, pardon me, i'll never be the same.
pardon me, i'll never be the same.

nice to know you - incubus
better than watching gellar bending silver spoons
better than witnessing newborn nebulas in bloom.
she who see's from 'up high' smiles and surely sings.
prospective pries her once weighty eyes and it
gives you wings.

i haven't felt the way I feel today
in so long it's hard for me to specify.
i'm beginning to notice how much this feels
like a waking limb...pins and needles,
nice to know you,
good-bye, nice to Know You

deeper than the deepest cousteau would ever go.
higher than the heights of what we often
think we know.
blessed she who clearly sees the wood for the trees.
to obtain a birds eye is to turn a
blizzard to a breeze.

i haven't felt the way I feel today
in so long it's hard for me to specify.
i'm beginning to notice how much this
feels like a waking limb... pins and needles,
nice to know you
good-bye, nice to know you

could it be that it had been there all along

i haven't felt the way i feel today
in so long it's hard for me to specify.
i'm beginning to notice how much this
feels like a waking limb... pins and needles,
nice to know you,
goodbye, nice to Know you
to know you

aspects of retrospect
so because i'm terrible with dates:

physical
i grew taller! no i'm lying. but i grew my hair out. its just something i wanted to do, mebbe because i had been keeping a short spikey crop for most of my youth. yeah, so i'm quite pleased with it. may not be very neat, but thats because its not necesary yet. i wrecked my old nerd glasses, and i got myself red tints too. ive been told i look like a pimp. heavens, and to think it was supposed to be about rockstars. also been jogging and playing touch rugby in perth. thats more than i do in the army save the least.

emotions
still the same more or less. i dont wanna feel too much, because its usually blood on the tracks. so ive had a few ups and downs, and ive learnt some in the process. but in the end, its all good.

soul
i've sinned, am a sinner, and still sinning but saved. i guess as i try to comprehend all that, i'm learning day by day about the glory of God. i guess i'd like more mantle to really live by faith rather than fluctuate so much. perth was a tough spiritual time for me as i was so distanced. the familarity of SJSM helped, but i'd like to know God's still in the center of it all. still learning, never stopping.

mind
knowledge is power. im quite pleased with my first semester results, but i wanna do better. and read more, learn more. you can learn from everything. even if i were a washout, i'd still wanna be filled with crap.

music
i'm not hating it yet, but i still like absolute silence. the band helped with an OST, finally gigged and we're doing an EP now. everything will come to pass.

... i think ive said enough, i'm terribly bored of blogging now.

hang on
happy new year everyone! drop by again like a halo.

i should've been born a fighter pilot
"With increased agility comes the problem of the force of gravity, or g-force, the stress applied to a pilot's body when the airplane maneuversat high speed. G-force causes blood to drain down from the brain temporarily, extingusihing vision or even conciousness. Several weeks after my virtual flight in the F/A-22, Maj. Beau "Ripple" Booth gives me a lesson in g-force during a real flight in the Air Force's F-16 Fighting Falcon when he yanks us into a turn at 500 knots. My gravity suit 's air bladders inflate against my legs to counteract the blood pushing downward. I also begin the prescribed training maneuver--holding a deep breath and flexing every muscle in my body. But he takes us to the brink of 9 g's, which crushes me in my seat as if i weighed three-quarters of a ton. I can't take it. Vision fades to darkness, and I begin to pass out. He eases off. I come back disorientated and nauseated, my sight returning as chatoic pinwheels and checkerboards."

wings of change - michael klesius, national geographic dec 2003

from the purple abyss
rises the strongest turtle of all!


instructions: this is a flash-mob, copy this picture and paste it on your blog/webbie thing.

ears ringing drowing out all the idle thoughts
i like plugging myself into music just so i can stop the banter in my brain. someones always got something better to say than me, even if its in japanese. drowns everything out, some things i just don't need to hear. fear? maybe. insecurity? maybe. useless? probably. uncertainty? you gottit. we're here now, and that's all that matters. some can't find a reason to push on, and even if you couldn't, you live on. is there a reason why our heart still pumps blood through our veins as our cells disintigrate? i'd like to think that if there were a resolution, then yes, there would be a reason. we're not too different you and i. we probably ask the same questions, heard the same answers, believe differently but ultimately write rubbish when asked upon. i leave you with this resolution.