Tuesday, December 26, 2006

ordinary lives, you want a better tomorrow

well, i think there's nothing better than watching an old gangster movie every now and then. yh and i both agree that a better tomorrow is one of the best out there, that its got emotion, heart and most importantly, lots of blood.

before you glorify this as ultra-violence, let me just say that the more blood on screen the better because for me it just celebrates the medium of film as an illusion. i liken this movie to a jack neo film with guns but that is also an insult to a craft. i don't know, sometimes i like mr neo, and sometimes i hate his stuff. and dammit, chow yun fatt is absolutely sick in this movie. the air, the fire in his eyes, that psychotic grin, the unrelenting spirit, and perhaps.. really, it's all just about the cool. hell, i wanna smoke and take shots like he does. while pulling out dual berettas just because.

so as i sit here in front of my computer once again, i'm starting to wonder, why exactly am i typing all this to tell you this? the truth is, i don't know.. i don't really know what i'm doing here.

my mission trip is over, my degree is done.. y'know, for once in a long while, this chapter actually does feel sort of closed. i don't really know what lies around the bend, but it sure feels that way. that feeling of expectation of not really knowing, sweat glistens across your brow as you slowly pace your way across that lonely corridor, each step a startling echo. and then you take a peak, and you still can't see the end in sight. don't know what sorta job i'll be getting, what sorta gear i'll be acquiring, what sorta music i'll be creating, what sorta friends i'll be keeping, everything seems like an open book right now. and i must say its a rather exciting albeit cautious feeling. well, one thing for sure, if i can drag a smoke like mr chow in the above picture, i can take on all things.

and its exactly with such pride that i'll fall flat on my face.

haha, as cool as a better tomorrow is, it really detracts one from life in that are we really the masters of our own fate? well, i don't really have an idea of what i'm typing anymore.. it's gotten a tad convulated. there are so many things that i want to say, but i don't want to make an academia, but i'm afraid that people only take academia seriously, or when you speak from a voice of authority. what happened to the voice of the people?

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