Tuesday, June 14, 2005

blueprints for life
life's slowly catching up with all of us. i guess there's a set plan in order to fit in with the rest of the world. i guess even as special as we all try to make ourselves, we're all still trying to fit in.

wot have i envisioned for myself? to be able to work, support my family and my craft. be able to tithe in church, still have friends to go for drinks now and then. a healthy lifestyle, good kids, a good wife, maybe pay off a car and a 4-5 room flat. then comes the insurance policies, the images to upkeep, the CPF.. etc

wot i'm trying to summarise is that, when you really break it down, wot do all these things mean? back when i was younger, i could live with reckless abandon and be a rebel against these set rules. but as i grow older, and the responsibility mounts, and i must carve out my own image in the stone of life, the pressure to conform is actually a lot stronger. we no longer live in the daydreams and are subject to reality.

or are we? it is in our dreams that reality exists, and the reality is that only our dreams exist.

in some form or another, we all have our goals, perceptions on life, moral standards. if we're all dancing on the same stage, playing out our thoughts, then it is the stage that is reality, an empty plane of existence. a canvas where we can do wot we will, percieve wot we will.

and so the status quo becomes a set of constructed rules, even our basic primal instincts and urges, where if starved, we die. where death isn't the opposite of life, but part of life.

our plane and level of existence, we cannot seek to comprehend wot lies beyond the veil of reality. where reality is a dream we all sleep in, and wot exists outside of reality, outside of existence is infintely beyond human comprehension. because we believe in wot we see, and that is our shortcoming.

to simply exist cannot be enough, or can it? i for one, don't accept that i am the result of a cosmic joke or accident. we all find some reason to continue, not just for the lifespan we have on this earth, but perhaps when we become a part of the unseen reality, then there will finally be some objectivity.

"when the doors of perception are cleansed, then things will appear as they truely are". william blake

"there are things known, and there are things unknown. And in between them are the doors." jim morrison

i don't want to just exist, for as long as i am alive, i will, with the strength of God continue to experience life as it was truely meant to be lived. look upon each day as a second chance to get it right, another day of surprise and wonder. a new thing to learn everyday, even when the chips are down and you don't fit in. none of us ever really do anyway, and this post never had any absolutes. i'm just like all of you, as you are all different from me and cannot go where i have gone.

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