Wednesday, March 1, 2006

drownded in sound
still no internet, but the library is pretty empty. i don't think anyone's eavsdropping (or however you spell that damned word), which is kinda ironic because it's gonna get posted anyway. ah yes.. i see my banality has kicked in once again. it wont be much longer before i turn into a cynical bastard. not unless the good Lord intercedes for me. (which im shure he already has.)

but yay! i got accepted for my overload this semester, and i don't have to overload next semester. payers were answered! i was supposed to lead worshipi for the combined cell event this friday, but its not happening anymore because it got pushed back. anyhow, in the midst of preparing, it was really hard to focus, to actually get into the 'mood' of worship. like something was preventing me from entering that familiar place of God's presence. do i know what was blocking me? was it the enemy's influence or my own? maybe a combination of both.. Thomas reminded me that as a worship leader we always have to watch ourselves, which is true.. we are placed in a sort of leadership position, which also makes us more succeptible to enemy atatcks. i mean, if something great was gonna happen, the enemy would do all they can to halt our advance. and.. of course, i guess i don't have the strength to physically beat the devil back to hell, but with Christ, all things are possible. i suppose you could call this a much more practical call to arms. we've already won the war (in our linear future), but for now we're always struggling. it's somewhat strange, and yet it gives a strange sense of hope.

i think God's slowly making me grow up (in a more tangible way), its no more just feelings and feeling good, feeling like a christian. i think he wants us to mature in our faith in more proactive ways. like, i think when i had the problem of not being able to enter in, the conviction was actually to also look to the body of Christ for encouragement and love. and i think that's how God uses each and every one of us in each others' lives. no matter how insignificant we feel. our family and friends are our earth angels, and it's awesomely lovely to see the reflection of Christ in each and everyone of you.

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