Wednesday, January 18, 2006

i didn't mean to hurt you
and i love you like i love the sunrise in the morning
and i miss you like i miss the rain
when i'm burning..

- spiritualized

today i was just thinking to myself, i don't need a girlfriend. no, not now. well, maybe not now. but let's look at it this way? if i want someone that doesn't want me, the tragedy would be that we actually got together. that would be the ultimate tragedy because from a certain angle, it was never meant to happen.

so what is left right now? maybe i will find her (you), maybe she will find me. and like star-crossed lovers, ill-fated chums, we will keep bumping into each other because the duel of the fates state that we were meant to be. maybe i don't know it now, i only hope i will know it when it finally hits. wait for me, i've been waiting ever since..

and what helps in the process, is that perhaps now i know i'm free to pursue a life that does not need to take another person into consideration. i can form rock bands, make music with whoever i please, go to wherever it takes me, work for whoever and whatever wages catches my fancy. when i know my life is no validated by a society that sees singleness as lonliness, i will strive with the help of my God, a fulfilment of singlehood that can only come by pleasing God. and when the time comes for a partner, i will then know what was planned and willed by my creator, and it will always be meant to be.

"how can a young man keep his ways pure? by living according to your word."
psalms 119:9

No comments: