Wednesday, February 1, 2006

i drink water for hydration
met up with napkin man and cherie this morning for breakfast. cherie posed a pretty harmless question, but it's a worrying trend because this is the second time a girl has asked me if i would be content should i not get married.

oh crap. so now i die alone?

and do i actually have a certain 'look' whereby.. that man's got the makings of single-dom all over his face?

well, it did get me further thinking on this topic of marriage, and more importantly, romance. i wonder if romance is basically a western construct. because in many parts of the world before the so-called western world started spreading its ideas thru whatever means of conquest or imperialism, many cultures were content with arranged marriages. thus it leads me to wonder, if marriage was down out of practicality and social standing more than it was done about emotions and grandeurs of love.

don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to be sour plums about this, but with our 21st century condition, romance seems to be the biggest factor of starting a relationship with anyone.

if marriage or courtship isn't on the agenda, why can't two people get awfully close without actually developing confusing romantic feelings. because, if romance is based on emotion, then yes, it does screw up with a lot of things, because the intimacy might be coming at a pre-mature stage.

do you see what i'm driving at? partly is that the things that a couple does today, i believe is something friends used to do, but because of the 21st century condition, such close-friendship has been relegated, and lost to the pre-mature coupledom. i might be wrong, but if you give it some thought, we may just be on to something here.

love isn't just about being close to someone, and being allowed to do a things a boyfriend is allowed to do, but perhaps for any girl, irregardless of whether i've romantic feelings attached (because emotions just make things awry), there are just certain things a brother in christ just should be doing. chivalry, protection, concern, care, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-sacrifice. and these things don't just pertain to the opposite sex, the love i talk about is meant for family and brothers in christ as well, to our fellow neighbours.

i don't know if this is a conclusion i'm driving at, but i think that a 21st century western styled romance has really skewered the finer, and perhaps truer meaning of what love is. romance has made it convenient to have intimacy with someone perhaps purely out of companionship and is missing the point on something greater, like perhaps true friendship, where someone is there to cover my back when i fall, when marriage wasn't just about romance (or the biggest part), but its for a man to leave his family and start his own family, carry on a next generation of God's soldiers who will also bring our Lord glory and not just because it would be cute. (not meant to be trivialising or seen as a militarising force, but i think certain things have been lost with this whole kids-having thing)

its something to think about, well, if its ever bothered you like its bothered me. plus i got asked the question twice, and at 23.. you don't really wanna have the backthought of die-ing old and alone plaguing you. even though we all die alone.

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