Wednesday, February 21, 2007

when gap isn't just a shop
i guess there's no need to be airing dirty laundry about my family, but damn, i don't think this particulary constitutes that. anyway, maybe i've always thought that my home would always be an exception, but i reckon that the generation gap within my household has become more apparent.

i've got a stubborn mom. she's gone thru a lot, which may have shaped her personality that way. maybe she's stubborn by my standards, i know she's many wonderful things, but i get that when i talk to her. she sticks to her cards, and no matter what you bring up as a counterpoint, she'll shoot you down without knowing it and remain justified for her actions or attitudes. it pisses me off some, it makes me want to not care some, just make it simpler for all of us. but the day we stop arguing, could be the day we all stop communicating as well. i still think friction is necessary for preventing stagnation, but it can't be the answer for everything either. perhaps, i'm just being taken for a punching bag too.

and dad's just dad. severely lacking in the emotional department, great as he is sometimes. i used to think that i would have to love my family unconditionally if i'm going to be able to love my own future family in the same way. but somehow or rather, it really is asking too much, because we come from different eras, different mindsets, different tolerences, and i'm learning to accept these different facts so that i won't just become a shadow of my parents and actually start living for my own future. it's not selfish, because i think we do respect each other's individualities in the process. it's how we function. individual social creatures.

and i'm a bit sore, because i wanted to write about something else.

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