Friday, June 30, 2006

our puppet master
i'm getting rather scared, i almost feel irritated by so many things and people around me. in general. like a nervous twitch, i find myself being over sensitive to even the slightest attacks against my ego, or even when people ask me 'dumb' question, i get affected as if "do i look dumb for you to ask me stupid questions?"

this has got to stop, i mean, what good could possibly come out of this, its almost as if i were to keep this up, i could wind up in a mental institution.

the symptomns of something deeper? perhaps, i don't mind hearing a diagnosis of sorts. and its funny how we put our faith in people who are specifically trained to do a certain thing, but not God. i have to admit, i'm guilty of this so many times. countless times, i never go to God first in anything i need to know or do or just some new thing that crops up.

and when you scream out against the wrong mechanics of society, people look at you weirdly like there's nothing wrong. but isn't it scary when you know there's something so wrong, but no one seems to believe you and nobody wants to change anything? if people don't believe you, how do you go on living?

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