Saturday, April 3, 2004

edit your blog
broadcast broadcast. i guess i must be really running out of ideas if i'm taking the title for this post from the blogger's greeting. ah well, i probably am not that creative anyway. i'd like to be creative though.. it's the language of artists. this path of an artist, seemingly did it find me, or did i find it. i think it lied to me, manipulated me, made itself attractive.. skewered me off track from my dreams of medical science as a toddler, or say the wonders of the deep sea as a marine biologist. now i am forever at the mercy of scientists who will tell me wot they think i should hear. wot my dumb, impractical nature takes at face value.

so i don't think i am very creative. it keeps me alive though, the inadequecy and the quest to strive for a sort of epitome. the beauty and curse of the relative, will plague almost anyone who embarks on a learning curve as bastardised as this. how can you express yourself? why are you expressing yourself, is there a need to? do you have a message, or is it serving your ego? yeah, we do it for others to see, and we do it for release. perhaps it would be folly to pin it down on any one thing. i don't know. nobody's really there to tell you sometimes.

yeah, i think someone may have led me here, astray even. but i'm too caught up in it, i'm enthralled by the strange beauty and the shiney dusty surfaces. they sparkle so brightly my eyes burn out. then it screeches into your ears and your world goes dark.

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