Sunday, October 24, 2004

look at me
nah, don't look at me.. you won't always find wot you're looking for. time seems to have just flown by over the past week, good and bad, some days you just wanna go by faster, some days you wished you had more time to make sense of it all.

i was just looking at a friend's livejournal, and i saw one of the replies i got for one of my own replies. sometimes, it really seems as if Christians and Non-Christians are living in totally different worlds. and it's funny how just some random sharing of personal experience can be seen as bible pushing.

if im just relating a personal account to you, it will probably involve God, because hey.. he's a massive part of my life. so if you have a better idea other than putting down the Christian faith, please share with your friend who's in need. cuz i think that when we're at our downest, we don't just want the truth, we wanna be shown and demonstarted that truth. so don't place your attention on my testimony, help your friend who's in need.

sometimes, there are so many people to help. and i get selfish at times.. because i fear as if i have no time for myself, no time to make sense of it all. but i reckon i'll never make sense of it all in this lifetime, perhaps that's why i have all eternity to find out. -) i could live with that. so, even Christians question their existence on earth, and apart from doing God's will on earth, i don't know wot else it could be. can we truely live for ourselves? it depends on our school of thought. if you believe that there is no heaven or hell, then.. i guess it makes sense that we can do wotever we like. but if we acknowledge the existence of a God that judges in the final days, how can we continue living for ourselves anymore? he's God for cryin' out loud!

so yeah, wotever your school of thought, you've put yourself in a situation where you actually believe something. even if you believe in nothing, it's still something. catch my drift? our mind's will never be able to comprehend nothingness. we have a pre-conceived notion of 'nothingness', but in essence, that is already something, you believe it is absent of something, or however you wanna paint it. see? it is something.

if i were to say to you, choose now? how would you choose? sometimes you ask me (or i ask myself), how do i know if God exists. it's everywhere, and it's also faith. faith, doubt, following blindly, being able to see invisible things.

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