Friday, November 19, 2004

fall on your knees and be strong
wrote that lyric down today, and i guess it's kinda telling of my relationship with God. if anyone wants to follow me, he must first deny himself and pick up his cross daily. that's the Christian life somewhat, in order to draw closer to God, there must be less of us and more of Him. if anyone holds on to his life, he will lose it. such is the walk, it sounds harsh, but truely when you're walking with that sorta assurance, it's all worth it, and best of all, it all makes sense. there was a time when i enjoyed the darkness, the mystery of the darkness, the allure, the cool, the rebellion, the mystical, the things that set me aside and apart in the dark. but then, you realise it's not total darkness, because you still have some semblance of yourself, you know it's dark, it's dim.. and you think you're set aside. but trust me on this, that when you're walking in pitch blackness, when you're clawing desperately at the walls for someone to hear you, when it's so dark you can't even hear yourself, you can't see your hands, spiritually you are blind from not just the blackness, but quite literally, your eyeballs have been dug out and you're flailing about in claustrophobic space. then you'll see that the dark isn't so cool after all, and we're supposed to be walking in the light of His grace.
and the sun brings to light all the sins of the world.

and for a terrible mix, cotte's fruit mix and absolut vanilla just tastes like medicine. something new, but never should have been discovered.

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