Sunday, April 24, 2005

stopping the lonely lesson of remembrence
i can't feel my legs, standing up for too long. my right shoulder is sore from the corpse carrying position it's been in since the afternoon started. my left eye has been overworked i might go severely myopic in one eye.

spent the whole day at melvin & hui chuin's wedding and dinner, and well.. this is already the second wedding that i've attended this year in perth. it's crazy, because people around me are getting married left right center, and sometimes i'm caught smack in the middle of it.

doesn't help that they're all under thirty, and marriage is already on the cards. i'm 23 and no girlfriend. hahaha, it's a strange thing, deciding when a girl becomes someone you like enough to go after. sometimes, i wonder if i'm too laid back because i'm just waiting for something to happen, because in the past perhaps i'd like a girl far too much too early, and those feelings are always never recipocrated. so this is my heart's way of playing it safe.

too safe though, sometimes you feel as if you're not fighting for wot you believe in, wot you wanna take a chance in. because if it has the capacity to hurt you, it also has the capacity to love you. i mean, how do you put it right? if you're not willing to get hurt, you may never experience being loved? i dunno, something like that. because if i just sit back and wait for something to happen, you don't actually fight, or believe in it? the risk is almost figurative of the reckless abandon that she's worth you getting hurt. that your feelings aren't as important as hers. we would be good together

so someone tell me if i've opened the floodgates to being a helpless romantic all over again.

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