Tuesday, March 29, 2005

how then shall we say our vows?
the cooler air fills to permeate the soft tangible skin of everyone. i now sleep with blankets, sometimes two, and i wonder if i'm prepared for the coming winter. we're told in childrens' books that squirrels store food for the winter. i'm no such squirrel, probably live like a reed that freezes over once the pond ices up. gritting our teeth thru the cold, we thrive on pain to know we're still alive. masochistic as that sounds, at least we know we're nearing the end rather then drifting along effortlessly. sometimes the difference between living and dying isn't too large, they're both continuous.

last night i watched a touching anime with a central theme of atonement. i'm glad the main character found peace in the end. i guess like i've mentioned before, man knows that he is seperated from God, and tries ways and means toward reconciliation. i believe such a phrase explains almost every action we do to somehow fulfil that gap in our souls. and after salvation, well.. after salvation is the chapter i'm writing now. i remember a book i once read, whereby we inately seek the justice for the sins of our inherent hearts by going thru a series of atonement. i guess we never truely forgive ourselves, because only one person can forgive us of our sins. the concept of sin is not fluff, it's a very real tangible thing deep down in all our hearts if you bother to look. but whether you've found it or not, we are driven to do something about it. and when you realise you cannot do anything about it, you are so so thankful for the gift of grace and mercy.

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