and i won't fear love
so much happened and happening today, so much it's good. i actually am busy! good and bad, but right now i'm relishing it before i fall into deep nap. here's a brief run thru. finish up remnants of japanese essay at four am. then go to school for screen production concept test and technical handling test. a few muck ups, might bring the grade down.. but we tried. and everyone was hell bushed. and then finally had a digital media concept test which i *vomitted* everything that was in my head. should be good lah, but then again it's a jackass unit. but i'll pass all my papers this term i reckon.

we're gonna go for the sarah mclachlan concert at the perth concert hall later! lovely lovely lovely. i hope she sings fumbling towards ecstacy, wait, into the fire.. terribly excited, nice to sit down at a spanking venue with good friends and enjoy a night of intricately crafted music and the voice of a fallen angel.

and if i shed a tear i won't cage it
i won't fear love

i haven't found her yet, but i can still wait. people say i'm still young, and i'm not too concerned at present. mebbe because there's nothing much i can offer, and nobody needs the worst of me. well, i can only think of one, and he just says come as you are.

darkness in light, light in darkness
just when you think that the world is grim and fragile, and the only response you can give is your own tortured smile of nochalance, emotions and near death experiences. you get a sunday that tells you of His love, reasons and mysteries that seem to make so much more sense in the rightside up world in His own upside down way. and i smile, because i'm a rebel like Him, and yet there is conformity in that rebellion, and rebellion in that conformity. the paradox is that you're here when you don't belong in it in the first place. timely intervention, that in my own blindness i could never have noticed, but perhaps from the prayer of others. whoever you are that are praying for me in your own time, i thank you. and You who are listening, thank you that You listened to them. to learn to submit to the concern of others, and to be helped.

forgive me for saying so
http://www.katu.com/news/story.asp?ID=67497
have a read at the above article.

i think of the state seperates the familiy, they're really ruining something beautiful. imagine being brought up away from social contact. i mean, ever felt like running away from it all, because of how bleak the void of contemporary society is? is it escapism or realisation? well, its not up to me to judge, but i just think its commendable that a father was able to bring up his daughter right without the golden touch of society and all its attached connatations.

it's not today, it's tomorrow
wasted ways, dried blood.. these are the things that show how time has passed. not my time, just time in general. oh kay, sometimes there does feel like it's been wasted upon. but where i have failed, i see as reason. not a reason for failure, but a reason for attempting in the first place. sometimes we just have to go back and ask ourselves why we did the certain things that we did. and i don't believe in the "would you change anything about your life back then" question. i think many people fail to see that circumstance, and attitudes are a dichotomy. i feel like im stating the obvious, but i wonder if recently i've been giving too many people the benefit of the doubt. there used to be a point that i'd shoot folk down for being dumb arses. then i realised i was being a dumb arse myself, so realised i wasn't as smart as i thought i was. and then, even in that i was acting oh-so-smart, so we're back at dumbarse square one. which brings me to the point of wanting to shout at the public's face again, and them all back into the black oblivion. where i am. or i think i am on given days.

in case you are a dumbarse, this cryptic entry straight from brain to screen. i don't think i'm in some sorta dark oblivion, but i had to type this to make shure. i'm not as strong as you think i am though, but then again i don't really know myself very well. oh great, now i have to type another disclaimer for this disclaimer.

how you may remember me

me, short hair circia 2003. and testing out this spiffy photoblogging software

nihon hand maid for the royal emperor of the dirge
homestyle. i think thats wot today felt like. i did a glorious amount of housework, i reckon i could be a housewife. and don't even start getting all sexist with me about that. i cleaned out the kitchen, mopped the floor, did my laundry, changed my sheets and folded my clothes. and then it came to dinner. whee, second night i tried my hand at japanese cuisine. tried out oyako-don yesternight, and some "generic japanese dinner dish" tonight. one thing about japanese food is that its usually sweet. but the thing i like about it, is that its kinda.. fuss free. as in, the ingredients are minimalistc, and yet because of that, the flavours mix well with one another.. and you get some really distinct flavours. top that off with the freshness of the prepared ingredients, its a small wonder why the japanese are known for their zen like concepts. so yeah, that's thursday's gracefallen pass me by.

just felt like saying
you commie bastards!

on my mind
it's funny how this hairband i wear, digs into my scalp and then causes me to get a sore throat sensation. and when it take it off, the feeling leaves me. i'm going to cut my hair after my licence is done.

he's thinking about life again?
you'd think he'd get over it by now
this is how cold it gets around here.
http://wwwmet.murdoch.edu.au/cgi-bin/trends.exe

can i say much has been happening? not really.. there aren't really many updates in my life. i do get bored of it sometimes, but then again how often do we actually live for the thrills? i mean, it's not the thrills that make up life. life has that same intricite value even if it were perfectly still. it's maybe about how much you value it, or how much you want to get out of it. and if the end is just an eternal end, just of what value is it now? it's not all that wanky, it's just that we need certain questions to break out of ourselves, to derive meaning other than self gratification. but yeah.. when someone comes stepping all over your toes, we tend to get all defensive and we achieve self gratification by not taking responsibility for our actions.

eight more hours to completing my driver's log
four more days till the end of my academic world and sarah.

who're you gonna vote for?
i cannot believe i just completed this


got that off hell's kitchen. it's a lenghthy game, but hey.. at least you can say you know something about wot's going on.

highly irritable
i don't apprecitate it when it's so calculating. nobody notices the good you do, but the moment you stop, its noticed. like for the past 3 weeks, the household has a chore checklist. so everytime you do the chores, you sign on the sheet next to the chore you performed. so i've only been doing the small stuff like taking the trash out, not mopping the kitchen or vaccuming the house. blabla, i dont really have an excuse, just that ive had to look after myself for quite a bit, and i make it a point not to leave my dishes in the sink still. and it sickens me, when you have to ask me if i'm willing to mop the kitchen floor this saturday because according to the checklist, I (mofo), have not been fucken doing anything. FUCK. twice, when i cleaned out the toilet, before this stupid piece of paper was ever put up, and i never even counted it against anyone. i never expected anyone to do his or her chores because i did mine. but now, its all become one big disgusting statistic.

i'm taking this out here, because i might break something if i don't. i just can't stand it when it feels like the military all over again. when there's no more goodwill anymore.

and it happens right before my folks call me to check up on my health. i mean, when concern becomes misinterpretated as nagging.. you just get a highly irritable brian. nag nag nag. i should be a better son, and i was polite.. just.. disinterested over the phone. and i was honest, i told mom i was feeling irritated with certain things, but thanked her for her concern. and im not justifying myself, because if im a dickwat, i know when im one. and you'll know too. am i worried my household will stumble upon this post and know my feelings? somewhat yes. but hey, im willing to take it down in flames.. when you get me in a mood, sometimes my eyes just dont see so clearly anymore. hellbent on destruction.

serve it on a silver platter to your demi-gods
anything that is free will indefintely be enslaved. and made a profit of. i dunno, don't you ever just think that someone has to be in charge, nobody likes the free flowing river. they harness its energy for hydro-eclectric power, and then sell it. if there was no one to sell it to, they'd just market it and tell you why you need energy in the first place.

and i think there was something else i wanted to tell you today, but i forgot. must get down to constructing "brian's immense to-do list".

pumpkins screaming in the dead of night
i had been so ill. so ill in such a long while i had almost forgotten that i wasn't indestructable. things can get you down, but you can just brush it aside and move on. but when you're sick, you're kinda down for the count. the spirit is willing, but the body's too busy spewing guts and inards and a whole assortment of delights. daymn, i got stomach flu suddenly, it just hit me in the dead of sunday service, no idea how i gottit though. yeah, i pretty much vomitted out everything in my stomach. tim my housemate was kind enough to make me porridge, but i regurgitated everything out in the end. part of the recovery process i spose. and i think i saw something red in yesterday's massive spew. don't frighten me. i'll live, i feel so much better this morning. His healing hands and prayers i spose. and the drugs that work. but yeah, the moral of this story, is that when you're physically dead, your spirit dosen't have the vessel to do the wonders that it wants. in that sense, take physical care of your body, and not just your spiritual life. bless us with good health.

a bad taste
ever been curious about drugs? i think sometimes when you hit a creative roadblock, you might start thinking about it. that's why its kind of important to draw out your own guidelines, just how far are you willing to take it? so that when you're faced with the situation, you don't do something you potentially regret.

i think drugs destroy you, and more harshly, the people around you. who deal with your shite, who become your punching bags, who satiate your desires. there are different degrees of escapism, destruction is one of them. do you have a right to choose the path of self destruction? if you were born of your parents, and they gave you life. if God breathed life into you, just how much of your own life do you own? so can we really do what we want with our own lives?

well, nobody ever stopped anyone from disobedience.

what's this?
happened to watch the nightmare before christmas today. and i loved it. its quirky and spooky, and i suppose its applauded by all the would be 'dark arts' folk. haha, but we don't care. it's an ordinary tale of not so ordinary people, unlikely heros we all are. -)

what they don't teach you
i think i've come quite a distance since first coming to perth. i dunno, there's something about having your own set of wheels around here. it allows you go wherever you want, you kinda get to show people around, and in some sense, those actions allow you to be a guide of sorts. now im not saying that it only happens if you own a car, because that is rubbish. i could've made more of an effort to suss out the public transport system, but i can be lazy and spoonfed like that. i mean, i kinda know how to get around, from the humble days of walking along leach highway to reach the licensing centre, and relying on a rough sketch of wot our neighbourhood looked like, i reckon i can at least get to certain places now. there experience will hopefully just keep mounting, so that at the end of my stint here in perth, i can truely say that i lived in a place far from home.

and then, we went to the park in bateman too with mr browne and milo. the park is beautiful, there's a pretty good burning of the sky during sunset, but you don't actually see the sun bleeding, still it was a gorgeous sight. and there was a bloke playing his bagpipes. oh.. those are too cool. such tunes of grandeur under the bleeding sky. a bleak yet optimistic tune all at the same time. the balance of life hanging in the haunting drone of pipes.

the heavy air around us
i don't like wot i read.. i don't know if it's biased, but i'm thankful there's no violence where i am. i cannot imagine waking up day after day, and the uncertainty of escalating violence in a neverending war beckons with each new day. i don't know if death is feared anymore, because death is all around. suffering is eaten for nourishment, and soldiers drink the blood of children. war does crazy things to man, and we've been at it for years. you'd think we should be quite good at it. yet, they probably prolong it for personal enjoyment. wot would we do if we weren't fighting? somehow or another, i think that if there was peace, many of us would just be shifting in our seats. could peace ever really be a way of life? i think quite alotta times, while we say we want peace, we actually enjoy the discention, unfairness and despairity of everything in life. its somewhat masochistic, unapplaudable, but maybe realistic. wot lies at the bottem of our hearts? something we don't want to see.

beyond recollection
man, i got really bushed out yesterday, clocking almost three to four hours worth of driving. don't get me wrong, im immensely glad that jon's nice enough to help supervise my driving till i officially get my licence. once i do, i finally have a piece of official id, and it really kinda makes you feel like you finally belong somewhere. somehow. and then we watched troy at the cinemas. hot dang, it was a lovely show, though some of the cuts were a tad strange. it was very glorious, and a tragedy at the end of it. i think everyone needs a good tragedy once in awhile. and to become the demon that haunts your soul, is truely a path of damnation that we wreck upon ourselves. yet i guess its true somewhat, the immortality of words passed on from generation to generation. now i don't live for these things, it's just for that moment in the pictures, i could just appreciate and enjoy some mindless carnage and a false sense of honour.

i was just talkin' to someone today about a minute sense of homesickness. it's a far cry from last year, when i was looking forward to going back to spore. but this winter, its like ive grown to like it in perth. not that its better or anything, but its a gradual acceptance that this is life. and yeah, i don't mind staying on to absorb more of the australian lifestyle. where is home, family and friends? i know who they all are, and i love you all dearly.. but home family and friends can also be anywhere you want them to be, and connected throughout by just a lil prayer. we're all underneath the same big sky.

hmmm.. its a quiet night, slightly warmer than yesternight too. im nice and warm today, had a swell jog, a good dinner and treated myself to dessert. strangely enough, watching troy inspired me to run today. hahaha, shite, a victim again of subversive influence, damn i could hate myself. but it was good, there's a real joy when you're exerting yourself against the cold of the evening, burning your lungs and actually knowiing if you're in shape or not by the lightness of your steps. today my steps were heavy, tomorrow i will float on clouds.

pills that keep you warm
first off, i'm freezing my fingers off. it's too cold sometimes. but i hear of the heatwave back in spore, and then.. im somewhat thankful, and somewhat worried that i can't remember much about the heatwave we had in perth back in february. it worries me, because, i'm only concerned with my present problem, and have no sympathy to the tribulations of past. i'm only concerned with the now, and if tomorrow will be warmer. you see what i might be getting at? how i'm totally devaluing the things of yesteryears.

it was sort of a defence mechanism, in-built and subconcious. i dont really know how it wipes out my memories, but there are just certain things i don't remember. some of fear i actually got them wrong, or simply because its over and done with. i'm not gonna be a super-sensitive freak who's so shure of himself because of wot i went thru at this period of time to the next. no, i'm just who i am now, no past, uncertain future. now is all that is tangible to me. i can almost reach out and touch it.

next off, thanks to jeannie, i know i made you worry uneccesarily.. and i know its just a stupid blog. even if you don't think its much, thanks for actually giving me concern, when i was just screaming out for attention, i'm attention starved, and it pains me the wreck i ought to be, or am. but im not, well, just if you (the rest of you) think i am. i'm alive and well. blogs are meant to be two dimensional. you'll have to take my word for it.

i bought a hairband today, and it kinds of gives me headaches. but it sweeps my hair back nice. i might cut my hair soon.. am thinking of it as winter comes to towne.. i might want a new look. and i ironed all my clothes today. *beams*

long time coming
took a break for awhile. like i said, i had to enjoy the weekend, and that kinda meant not staring at a computer screen. well, updating a blog isn't so bad. i clearly don't have much to say, but its really refreshing to not have an assignment due. well, not till the second monday from now. that day, all my assignments are due, gotta screen technical handling test (thought that only happened in the army) and then.. and then.. sarah mclachlan ensues. this will be the biggest act i've seen in awhile. a perfect circle were a let down for me, and i really wanna connect somehow. with a muse ive known for so long.

life updates? i'm still alive, that counts for something. just been thru, and still going thru a phase whereby im setting up plans and goals for my creative life. i think by nature i'm a lazy bugger, but i wanna get past that and dabble in the sparks swirling in my brain. the stuff that's making me react, and inspiring me. in some sense, i wanna document that sorta self serving ego by doing something. be it music, words, graphics, craft.. anything and everything perhaps. and perhaps the final testament, of the canvas that is my life, and how you the audience respond to me. life is an art, we want it to be so perfect.

basically, these days, im just thankful for who's around me, who's back home in spore. i wanna look past self, and not think of only my cathartic effect. i always tell myself otherwise though, its like in my book i'll talk about how unimportant self is, but maybe subconciously, i do serve myself alot. in terms of thinking, and expression.

upon his shoulders pressing down like i couldn't breathe
wow, i like that. i like that as much as i like we were made for exciting times. great band names aren't they? tell me i'm wrong, because i wanna know that i never really fitted in anyway. but whatever you say, it's my msn nickname for the next twenty three hours.

and i finally watched radiohead live at glastonbury 2003 on my mobile workstation (that's laptop in pretentiously snotty young upstartish mannerisms). i think ive been having codec problems all this while, but now.. now! life has not been the same since i saw such inspiration from five musicians. it is incredible, how this band can actually make the music they make. i'm lost, collapsing, my lungs won't engage anymore. i need to see them twenty two times in my lifetime..

and i think my body is sapped of all its raw strength. i am powered by ridiculously cheap caffine granules dilluted in warm water. i'm not used to this mugging / staying up thing. i feel as if i've been wading in the marshes of lim chu kang again. sitting up from the hard ground, wondering why the hell when someone wakes me up i have to wake up. and perfom some inane duty. *yes sir? ambush? where, coordinates.. sorry sir, speak up.. i can't hear you. lima delta peanuts grass jelly? sorry sir, i have to ask for your authorisation code. .. ... i'm sorry i can't relay that message if you cannot remember the code word. it's in the SOI. your signaller ate it because he thought he was being engaged? ... look, i wish i could help, let me put you on hold while i talk to one-niner. one-niner juliet nothing further out.*

i am going to enjoy this weekend. *zzzzz*

blubberflubber
mr browne chases his tail the same way we shadow box. maybe he dosen't have much of an imagination, so he needs to see something tangible. something he can spar with. us, we're our own worst enemy, so we combat our imaginations. we dream of high-powered rifles, exoskeletons and latent psychic destruction to lay waste to those that harm our loved ones and way of life.

mr brown runs in and out of my room looking out the window. it's becoming very distracting, i want to scold him, but he wouldn't know wot he was doing wrong anyhow. it does seem somewhat wrong to scold a innocent 'lil mutt like that no? jee whizz man, wot next? children?

you're my quality control
captivates your body patrol
you're my body and soul
for whom the bell tolls
let the rhythm explode...

- quality control, jurassic 5

lockdown
now i feel like locking myself in. write music. sketch out designs. think out storyboards. piece together a website. have a plan for a creative outlet. attract some form of attention. find it all again.

day in, day out. what's the point of it all?
http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/landing/landingIndex.jsp?id=love_death&mature=accept

i know you
bahhh, i don't think i should be talking so much about the state of my heart like in the previous post. on hindsight, it just looks so.. emo. geeee whizzzz, not like i'm tryna pile the frivalous thoughts onto the internet. its kinda silly, because one day you feel like that, and the next day it dosen't bother you. and because i'm nowhere near updating whenever there's a change in the weather, i don't want people painting too wrong a picture. but then again, on another hindsight, somethings you have to get out of your system. sometimes you want someone to ask if you're oh kay. it's that twisted. but we don't want it to be twisted like that, because we're all cool and interesting. not weak and powerless. to hell with that, i'm maggot and wormlike. but that's not saying i have no confidence in my wormlike abilities. or maybe because i'm not gonna harp on my shortcomings, because there are so many other things to do with the time set aside for us here.

this blog, should be less about me. but its a blog about me. the strange reconcilliation process.. hahaha, i choose to live. life is more than just the state of our hearts. but i seem to lapse back into these things so much easier sometimes. sorry for talking in code, though its a simple one. i'll try to snap out of it soon.

que quality qontrol
wastin' time, wastin' time
watching as nothing goes by
sad is the man with an empty life

- killing time, the observatory

i can't help but feel like that sometimes, those momenents of quiet despairty, uncertain unforseen catastrophies that make your life spin out of control. a lonely life. living in the fear of it all, living in the fear of the future. i watched a little bit of this chinese movie on the SBS, and it portrayed a middle aged man, whose wife left him and lives with his father. it's a social pressure is it not? yet, it's not what i want. it's not a situation where you want art to reflect life, but i think it has. i think there are so many lonely souls out there. not because they really are, but they're too jaded to look into the world they live in. apathy has erased the sphere of their being into a 4 inch shadow that hovers near their feet. they don't allow themselves to get hurt, because they are hurt. how important is it to have people around you. no matter how shallow, how weak you think it is for someone who can't stand on his own two feet. well, if you've ever been faced with the immense power of how a world like ours can destroy you, you'll defintely need some form of support. us humans are fragile beings. we all need something tangible.

i just got myself the car, and now its a whole new responsibility. managing of funds, servicing, fix ups, insurance, stamp fees, responsible driving, car pools.. there are somethings you have to learn around here, i'm glad i can. i'll do the best i can, even if it's not enough.

hollering
i'm late for school! gahhhh!! and blogger has changed it's interface!!! wahhhh!!!!

the room with a view
sad, angelfire has pulled the plug on our pictures. i wonder how it works, if there's a way to bypass the system. (other than the obvious choice of looking for another server - but we're just poor bloggers.) so i apologise for the way the blog's flooded with words, apparently it has long since been the server's policy to not allow remote hosting. this is really sucks for those of us without our own bandwidth.

oh kay, enough bitching about the random things in life that seem to kick you in the nuts for no reason. haha, but i'll say it daymn well hurts. i think im paranoid, but i think the heart i laid on the railroad is about to be squished. but i am indestructable and immortal aren't i not? pushing the boundaries of all known pain. but no, i think in reality i can't thrive on the hurt all the time, i should not. i don't want to give up bits of myself here and there, only to become a hollow shell at the end of it. i don't want to always get thru the pain by apathy, because you just don't feel, and you don't exist. if you're gonna take the heat, you might as well just grin and bear it, because its not worth the trouble of an argument (blur, bad egg)

i hurt myself today
to see if i still feel
i focused on the pain
the only thing that's real

what have i become
my sweetest friend
everyone i know
goes away in the the end
- trent reznor

haha, but at the end of it all, i reckon in order not to give up those bits of yourself, or withdraw, or just smile sanguinely saying everything is fine.. a real working of the heart comes through the forgiveness in your heart. where there is no capacity to, God will give you that capacity, and he will extend those arms of yours needed to love and forgive those around you. even if you fall yourself. oh kay, but you heard it here first, my train is coming. i choose to live.

providence adjacent
y'know all that despairty about getting a car, settling into churches and searching the will of God. i can't claim to know it all yet, but taking one step closer is wonderful. i see now the importance of me being in a cell. i dunno how to explain, it was so cool to just hang out after cell and have fellowship. it actually reminded me of those days with being with church friends back in spore. and i could be myself, not put on airs, not a mask of holliness, not feel inadequate or lacking. because all are made righteous in Christ and not our own strength. i spose that sort of truth has allowed me, to just do wot needs to be done.

and the constant worry about getting a car. getting the right one. wot is the right one? haha, another story. but yeah, i was trying to reconcile the notion of owning an aestheticly pleasing car, and a practical car. the ford capri i found is in really good condition. low mileage, runs well and just looks too cool. and really, it wasn't any superior logic that convinced me to ask my dad permission to get this car. it wasn't praying and praying and praying, and some divine verse popped out. i did pray, i'd say i struggled to pray too, cuz i didnt really know the difference between wot God wanted, and wot i wanted. in the end, it was during cell time when we were supposed to sacrifice our Issacs' to God, things that might prevent us from worshipping him. it wasn't a materialistic spirit that was opposing me. it was more a doubting spirit, a faithless spirit and a lack of confidence in spiritual discernment. wot was revealed to me that night was do not doubt wot the Lord has provided. amen, he provided an awesome cell, for support, companionship, fellowship, humilty and edification. i also dare say he provided me with a car i can say i wanted. am i happy? yes. because i got the present that i wanted? yes. but its not because im having it my way. i think if you look deeper than the surface, i wanna let you know, there's a certain surrender, to transform your wants into His wants. thanks for listening to this journey -)

but yeah, i'm still drawn to melancholy (^_^)
there's no secret to living
just keep on walking
there's no secret to dying
just keep on flying

i'm gonna die in a place that don't know my name..
i'm gonna die in a space that don't hold my pain

- lonely souls, unkle

wot holds in store
it really is so troublesome looking for a car.. i wish i could just give up. *sigh* the effort involved really surpasses all known limits of patience. i exaggerate. i'm just tired of looking. because i have to bother people to help me, even if the car's near my place. oh kay, latest update on the search. i found a ford capri.. my itchy backside, its a damn convertible, and its already blowing my budget somewhat. do i need a sign that says i shouldnt get a car like that? its squeezy for four too. which means i can't help as many people as i want to. not the most practical car, not the most affordable (though at this price its pretty good value for money), but so aesthetically pleasing. i wish the decision didnt need to rest with me..

occurances of today, that make today, today
today's me old man's birthday. and i should stop talkin' like an arse. no seriously, happy birthday dad! wherever you are.. wish i could be there personally for you, but i'm here because of your generosity. i think you've given me more than i've given you, and thanks for not keeping score. to me, you're the greatest dad in the world, and i never wished that there was anyone else. thanks for showing me the ropes to everything, and being there at the end of it. God bless you and may he make all your paths straight. love you loads, your son.

in another strange occurance, after Media Industries, i happened to talk to my tutorial mate nicholas and apparently he knows sunitha and natalia from Screen Production One. well, i know sunitha, but i've only spoken to natalia a few times, and yeah.. haha, this is too cool i tell ya, they say i'm adorable! gahhhh!!! while that is a compliment, it also means i'm like some baby. hahaha, but hey, it's not everyday a czech-chinese beauty says that about you. haha, ah well.. *beams*

life where it is
all those dirty words
they make us look so dumb
we've been drinking far too much
and neither of us mean what they say

you know the rest, terribly sad song. i don't know why i woke up with that song in my head. and it looks like we might have made it, yes it looks like we've made it to the end. well, it's a lovely song to have playing in your biological jukebox anyhow.. wow, my mp3 player's playing UNKLE's lonely soul too. two hits of melancholy in the morning, haha.. must be a hint of sorts. but i'm not down, melancholy is kinda like mellowing out for me. makes me realise somewhat how human i am, how frail it all is, how much we need spiritual intervention. dosen't it scare you sometimes, if life's going too well?

young punks torch schoolyard
didn't you ever feel like actually doing something that gained the attention of the people around you? something destructive so that people wouldnt stomp over your head, show that you're not to be messed around with? let them know the fire that rages within you, that the flames lick painfully on their skin, feeding off their stupidity. i guess that's where some forms of anarchy stem from, our ideals of wot the new world order should be. it's a scary thing, to control the world. that everyone should see things the same way as you. i guess we were all young, and punk once in our lives. just let the rage ooze out.

i think this is a seriously cool trucker cap:


and if you haven't heard the john butler trio, i highly reccomend their song zebra. proudly australian.

i should be so humble, humble humble humble *to the tune of i should be so luck*

you are a GRAMMAR GOD!

if your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
congratulations and thank you!

how grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by quizilla

heck! i think so too! *beams*

the tales of my dog and wot he's taught me
in case you've kind of forgotten, our house has a dog and we call him mr brown. he's a sweetie, does stupid dumb things, but in actuality, i think he's a lot smarter. well, i'm just kind of thinking how much i'll miss him after i move out of 56 come july. in fact, i'll miss all my housemates, the people that i get to call 'home' in perth. i'll have a new one, and while i kind of look forward to something new, it's always difficult to let go of some things. some things.

oh, so anyhow, back to the dog. dumb things he's done? chase his own tale.. and allows himself to get mounted by bigger stronger dogs. he's never been the same since we removed his testicles. he'll never hear the end of "mai gay leh" i guess.. i suppose mr brown shure has a longing for something. but he's really grown in terms of being trained. i took him for a jog just now, and he was way more obedient than the last time. then i brought him over to mitty's place, and he got to play with this huge assed dog called scooby. it shure looked like they had a lot of fun. i guess dogs get lonely too being cooped up all day long. it brings a smile to me, when i see him enjoy the company of someone his own kind.

i apologise that we don't have any piccys of the salivating mutt.. i will really look for some soon.

i only have time to say this much
have i been resigned to talk only about wot happened thru the day? haha, nah, mebbe i still won't. sometimes its so tempting when you really don't have much to say, or talk about because your mind dosen't exactly contemplate 24/7. it's not that im embarressed about the things that happen in my life.. its just that im so lazy having to rehash things that have already gone by. its strange, they're good moments, but things sometimes feel like, hey.. i don't need to blog about this. haha, apologies to those who're more vouyeristic than others.

well, ive been listening to a lot of the yeah yeah yeahs lately. i don't know why.. i guess while i've always liked them, its perhaps this past week that i'm really connecting with the music of threee very unique individuals who bring in a lil majik into the recording studios. when you listen to new wave punk such as this.. you barely know it's happening. it's a strange enveloping experience that kinds of protects you from music that makes too much sense.

it's gonna be quiet here tonight -) sometime to catch up on things that i've been putting off.

forwarned and beleagured
beware, perth music is something to be feared, especially after you've heard dyslexic fish perform a stunning set fusing blues-soul-funk-rock all into a gel of cotton soft gelatin. that didn't make sense, but it's not supposed to. dyslexic fish is easily one of the most interesting bands i've seen so far. and most enjoyable. their music will have you swaying, and just raising those heavy hands of yours. you'll feel a strange lightness whenever the band seems to lock on into a sort of haunting funk groove. there's not much bass virturosity, but the bass player defintely is a groove virturuso.. as he basically locks everything together and lays the foundation for that skanky guitar lines to skid across the well tarred road. the vox is top notch, falesettos en all.. but i guess a real treat is the horn section. beautifully complimenting, the band works as a singular unit of spreading a righteous groove. you have to experience them, to believe them.

and then we caught imprint perform for their album launch. i'm listening to the newly released cd as we speak. they had a good set, a pretty long one for their standards. while the sound was not as tight as the fish, the highlights was defintely the rhythm section of the bass drums and the unifying voice that is dean. jon really shown on the bass today. if there's anyone who can get the crowd going to a good dirty funk groove, it's him. man, the runs that he pulled from his sleeve of tricks was enough to keep me entertained the whole night. coupled with his punchy, poppy old school flatwound tone.. you're feet will be doing something magical.

wonderful thirsty night, i almost forgot that im not gonna get that '84 celica anymore. well, screw it, it's a junk heap.