Wednesday, May 12, 2004

que quality qontrol
wastin' time, wastin' time
watching as nothing goes by
sad is the man with an empty life

- killing time, the observatory

i can't help but feel like that sometimes, those momenents of quiet despairty, uncertain unforseen catastrophies that make your life spin out of control. a lonely life. living in the fear of it all, living in the fear of the future. i watched a little bit of this chinese movie on the SBS, and it portrayed a middle aged man, whose wife left him and lives with his father. it's a social pressure is it not? yet, it's not what i want. it's not a situation where you want art to reflect life, but i think it has. i think there are so many lonely souls out there. not because they really are, but they're too jaded to look into the world they live in. apathy has erased the sphere of their being into a 4 inch shadow that hovers near their feet. they don't allow themselves to get hurt, because they are hurt. how important is it to have people around you. no matter how shallow, how weak you think it is for someone who can't stand on his own two feet. well, if you've ever been faced with the immense power of how a world like ours can destroy you, you'll defintely need some form of support. us humans are fragile beings. we all need something tangible.

i just got myself the car, and now its a whole new responsibility. managing of funds, servicing, fix ups, insurance, stamp fees, responsible driving, car pools.. there are somethings you have to learn around here, i'm glad i can. i'll do the best i can, even if it's not enough.

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